You're Unexpectedly Stuck Home with the Kids - Now What?

With COVID-19 shut downs happening all around the country, I've heard a lot of people asking "what do I do with my kids?" We're a homeschooling family, so my kids are always home, and have been through a Minnesota polar vortex winter, tiny apartment living, and a house fire that meant living in a hotel for five weeks.

Being unexpectedly stuck home with the kids means you likely didn't have time to prepare, probably can't go anywhere, and likely have some work to get done yourself (and, ya know, not go crazy.) You can do this! Here's some ideas.

1. Set a schedule

I cannot tell you how important this is. Some sort of pre-determined structure to your day is everything when you are all home, all day, in each other's space. This can be very fluid! Ours looks like this:

Breakfast as people wake up
Dress after breakfast
Morning chores (straighten up, start laundry, unload dishwasher)
Announce "the plan of the day" (we'll get to that in a second)
Lunch
Nap/quiet time/school/learning show
Snack
Afternoon chores (fold laundry, prep/cook dinner, big group pick up)
Dinner
Family time (movie, game night, walk, etc.)
Bedtime (I suggest early and kids not sleepy yet get quiet reading time)

2. Make a list

Our "plan of the day" is me announcing the game plan. In a normal time, this involves our classes, outings, errands, projects, or whatever else needs to happen that day with the kids.
When we're all stuck at home, it's whatever I have picked out from our idea list.

I highly recommend making a master list for yourself of different types of things to choose from. It takes off a lot of the daily mental load!

Here's some of the categories I like to include:

Gross motor/Get Your Wiggles Out
Quiet Time
Family projects
Movie/show/games
Novelty

3. Inventory what tools you already have available

Now that you've started thinking, go through your house and inventory what you already have to work with. Sports equipment? Art supplies? Odds and ends? Camping stuff?

Use what you find to add to your list. Here's some things we have tried and loved:

• Pitch a tent inside! We have a 2 person tent that can become a fort, a reading space, and endless hours of pretend play. If it's nice weather where you are, that can become a full out backyard camp ground.
• Field Day. It's easier than it sounds. I found cones, balls, chalk, and jump ropes. We had running races, running drills when the races got teary competitive, jump rope clinics, draw crazy long loopy lines with chalk and try to tip toe the whole line.
• Recycle Bin Crafting. I dump out the recycle bin, remove anything hazardous like sharp cans, and let the kids invent away! They can cut, draw, tape, design, tear, whatever they want. Robots, fashion creations, and creative bug habitats have happened.

4. Keep some learning time, even in difficult times

One thing I learned from living through a house fire, was the kids needed the relief of giving their brains something else to focus on while we were displaced. Reading aloud, printing out worksheets, teaching skills I knew. Here are some of our favorite resources.

• The Library Even if you can't go there physically, many libraries offer online resources you can access. Ours has free streaming content, downloadable audiobooks, ebooks, and access to learning databases for kids and adults. 
• PBS They have a streaming app that is wonderful for getting access to what we call "learning shows" AKA Nova, Nature, and other content. PBS Learning Media is a great resource for distance learning needs.
• YouTube Our favorite learning shows on YouTube are Liberty's Kids and the various farm history series from BBC featuring Ruth Goodman. Want to learn a craft or other skill? There's probably a YouTube video for that.
• Project Gutenberg Need any more free read alouds? Project Gutenberg has thousands of free classic children's literature titles to access as ebooks for free.
• Pinterest If you have an idea you're thinking about there is probably a mom or teacher out there with a how to article on Pinterest for you. It's wonderful for finding hands on game ideas and other activities focused on a particular topic.
• Your own childhood and skills. Remember that odd camp song you still remember 15 years later? Your kids will likely love hearing you tell about it and teaching it to them. I've taught the kids how to juggle, how to double a recipe, how to crochet, how to sew, and how to use a screwdriver. It's empowering, bonding, and often gets a chore done, in one swoop!

5. What is this "quiet time" you mentioned?

Parents have stuff to get done too. No shame in using some screentime! But here's some other ways to make it work for you too.

• Set boundaries. Quiet time for us runs from toddler nap start to snack time at 2pm. The big kids are used to not being able to choose TV shows, get a snack, or be loud during that time. 
• Choices. The main rules for things to do during quiet time is they must be: quiet, independent, not destructive to others or things. They are welcome to choose something like LEGOs, painting, or a board game that we can't do with the toddler tornado happening. They are encouraged to play outside independently during this time.
• You are not in charge of their happiness. It's a freeing concept! It's ok if they feel bored. It's not my job to provide constant stimulation. They have choices from the quiet time list (as I mentioned earlier), they know the boundaries, they are welcome to come to me with any questions or injuries. Other than that, I need to be allowed to work.
• After 2pm, learning show! I will often still have work that needs to happen after 2. Especially if the toddler is still napping, I love to get that done. I find documentaries are much less distracting for me than say PBS Kids. PBS documentaries typically have handy viewer ratings, so we pick one rated TV-PG or G and they can learn about something new!

6. Work Together

Homeschool families are forced to work together a lot. Putting away laundry is a group effort. When it's cleaning windows day, I spray rags for everyone (even the two year old) and they clean what they can reach. Include the kids as much as you can in household projects and chores. Being allowed to contribute to the family is a big morale booster, and I find it's easier for kids to start talking about what's on their mind while they're working alongside you.

I've had many conversations about kid's worries and struggles while cleaning up books, hanging laundry, and tidying rooms.

It might be hard, but be willing to be honest with your kids that need you to talk straight. Gentle with the ones who are struggling with the changes in their lives. Kids are smart and they realize when something is up. But they want to be connected with you and their family. 

7. Set a finish line

I mentally need to know when I might have a chance of down time. We normally have getting ready for bed time at 7pm and kids in bed at 7:30pm. Yes, it's early. We're all normally up by 6:30am so it needs to be early, but it allows for my husband and I to actually talk to each other or watch a non-kid appropriate show/movie. 

Being stuck at home all day every day for an extended period is very much a mental game. We will each need to be aware of our personal needs for mental breaks, morale boosts, and a chance to laugh. I like to work on a puzzle (jigsaw, cross word, suduku), watch a standup comedy set on streaming, make a mug cake, or snuggle up with tea and a book. 

I hope this is helpful for someone! Leave your ideas below in the comments.

We've Done This Before - Cancelling Mass for Outbreaks, A History

Viral outbreaks, epidemics, and pandemics have happened throughout human history. Some require different responses to see to the end. The Catholic Church, being a 2000+ year old institution, has seen quite a few.
I've heard many Catholics, and priests, calling the closure of churches and shutting of public masses to be "unprecedented." Au contraire! There is in fact historical precedent for closing churches and avoiding large gatherings during illness outbreaks. There is also historical precedent for what happens when we decide to not follow the advice of health authorities in regards to churches.

I love me a good history tour, so join this one: cancelling mass for outbreaks, a history.

1918 Pandemic Flu

The pandemic flu of 1918-1919 is the most recent example of the scale of global impact that we are seeing develop with COVID-19.

 From Baltimore, MD: "The city’s leading Catholic clergyman continued to question why local churches were closed “while the stores, saloons, markets and the like remain open.” While recognizing public health concerns, James Cardinal Gibbons argued that “it would be a much-needed relief to our church-going population if they could be allowed to attend brief morning services… I am told that a number of calls upon our physicians are simply the result of nervousness, or the consequence of alarm. This might be considerably allayed by the reassurance of religion, and discreet words from our priests given the people in church.”
This quote is from October 15, 1918, yet is almost identical to statements I have seen shared on social media in the past few weeks.

In the Fall of 1918 awareness of the virus was high, but acceptance of the need for social distancing was not.

In Spain we see what happens when Catholic leaders and faithful refuse to comply with local health authorities. "Because of a strong social influence of the Bishop, the Catholic Church authorities in Zamora [Spain] stated that “the evil upon us might be a consequence of our sins and lack of gratitude, and therefore the vengeance of eternal justice felt upon us” [19, p. 149] and, subsequently, organized a series of Mass gatherings at Zamora's Cathedral. One of the likely consequences of the events was the easy spread of the virus. The attempts of civil authorities to forbid Mass gatherings were disputed by the Bishop, who accused the political and public health authorities of undue interference with the church."
Zamora had the highest death toll from the pandemic flu in all of Spain, due in no small part to the refusal to accept social distancing measures. Zamora had a peak death rate of 10.1% in October 1918. Mortality in all of Spain in the same month? 3.8%
Those mass gatherings to pray the virus away? They were held in October 1918.

On October 12, 1918 Rochester, NY announced the closure of all churches, including public masses. This is after steps such as cancelling confirmations and other public devotions. The bishop put a statement in the newspaper encouraging the faithful to follow the direction of the health authorities, act prudently, and to pray in communion with the Church at home.
Rochester would fare much better than other comparable cities in the area. It's excess death rate was 360 per 100,000 residents - putting it just about equal with St. Louis, MO. Both cities are now held up as examples of how many lives can be saved with the early adoption of social distancing measures.

A More Recent Example

1918 too far back for you? How about May of 2018. That was when an Ebola outbreak in the Democratic Republic of the Congo led to a ban on most sacraments.  No baptisms, confirmations, ordinations, or anointings until further notice. By September thousands of churches were closed in the hardest hit regions. Communion in the hand only, if you are lucky enough to be able to receive it. The DRC is a very Catholic country, with some 650,000 of the region's 1.2 million residents are Catholic in the Ebola effected regions. That means about 650,000 Catholics have already been living without access to the sacraments for over 19 months straight due to a virus.

Did you know that outbreak just officially saw an end in sight only last week? The discharge of the last Ebola patient, and a lack of new cases in two weeks, means the outbreak might finally be over. For now.

Adds a little perspective, doesn't it?