This week I'm running a series, For the Love of the Church, written by my friend Jacob Boddicker, SJ.

Jacob is a Jesuit scholastic originally from Iowa, and is currently studying at the Jesuit School of Theology in preparation for ordination. He has an academic background in archaeology, history, and philosophy, and his interests include music, science fiction/fantasy, and writing.

Make sure to check out Day One: How We Met

When I was ready to head off to college at the University of Wyoming, I didn't really think about the Church. As I mentioned yesterday, she was in the background of my life and while I know now that she was crazy about me, I don't know that a single brain cell in my head was processing the remotest inkling of a notion regarding her.

Yet I remember very, very clearly that first Saturday night in MacIntyre Hall in the penthouse of the state of Wyoming (it is the tallest building in the state at 12 stories, so I'm told), she suddenly came to mind. Growing up it was a rule of law that I went to see her every Sunday, and endure her boring stories and her plain cooking. I was struck by the realization that for once in my life it was up to me: would I go to church in the morning?

My teenage inclination toward sleeping in reared its slovenly head, "Jake, it's too early in the morning, and it's boring anyways. Just sleep in; you did only get here yesterday." But the more I tried to make excuses, the more I realized there weren't any. So I looked for a Catholic Church.

Much to my surprise I discovered that my cradle-robbing gal was also a prolific stalker! Not only had she moved to Laramie, Wyoming with me but she had a place just a few blocks from my dormitory. What's more is she completely anticipated my wont to sleep in and set up a brunch at 11am. It was settled then; there was no excuse. No way could I sleep past 11am without taking pills or something, and my "I don't have a car" excuse wouldn't fly either. So I went to Mass that Sunday, convinced that I would eventually come up with a reason to stop seeing this crazy woman altogether. Turns out my aunts and uncles and cousins went to this parish as well, and before I knew it I was going every Sunday.

Still boring, but my adorable little cousins made it tolerable!

Then I began to notice something after about a month or so: I was lonely and homesick. I had made precisely one friend (thanks, Frank Derksen!) and longed for the autumn fields of Iowa, my old room, my friends from high school...it was an incredibly intense desire for home. One Sunday while I was letting my future squeeze pour out her affections on my apathetic heart, I was struck by a sudden realization while singing that familiar song "Holy, Holy, Holy Lord..."

Though I was in a new place, I knew the words. I knew the words to all the prayers, the responses, and many of the songs. Why? Because they were the same that I had grown up with in Iowa. I realized that this Mass was the same Mass, essentially, that my family was attending back home, that not only had the church stalked me all the way West but had even brought the same outfit she wore every Sunday so that I would recognize her; she was just waiting for me to open my eyes. My homesickness vanished, literally, in that moment; I felt like I was home. I began to look forward to Mass, to that familiarity, and I couldn't have known what delight that brought her, to see that something she had done finally--FINALLY--pleased me. Soon enough I made my first friends at a viewing of The Fellowship of the Ring (Ben Corley being one), and then I made friends with their friends.

A few months later, though, is when I realized that I was only the beneficiary of a wonderful benefactress. My friends asked me if I wanted to go on a retreat. "From what?" said I, in all ignorance. That retreat changed my life because for the first time ever I realized two very important things:

1) That being Catholic is important to me, that there is nothing at all like it in the world.
2) That the Sacraments actually work.

I saw the Church alive for what felt like the first time; I saw fellow college students who loved their faith, and I realized it was my faith, too. I saw the Church touching hearts and loving people, not that she never had but I never NOTICED. Now, I noticed, and it was then that I started to pay attention to her.

In the months that followed I became more involved, more invested, and I took that budding love with me to the University of Northern Iowa when I transferred, getting involved at St. Stephen the Witness Catholic Student Center. It was during those years that I began discerning a call to the priesthood, that I first began returning the affection I had always received from the Bride of Christ.

It was still, however, a very adolescent crush; I was a very immature lad coming to admire the beauty of a very mature woman. How she ever had the patience necessary to tolerate my fickleness--particularly when, for a time, another woman competed with her for my heart and often, to my chagrin, won out--is beyond me, but she did. When I left Laramie, so did she; again she got a place right off campus, and again she was wearing the same outfit, all so that I would know it was her. Good Lord, where would I be in life if she wasn't so persistent?

Come back tomorrow for Day Three: Her Crazy Proposal.

If you missed the first installment, pop over to read Day One: How We Met.

For the Love of the Church - Day One: How We Met

This week I'm running a series, For the Love of the Church, written by my friend Jacob Boddicker, SJ.

Jacob is a Jesuit scholastic originally from Iowa, and is currently studying at the Jesuit School of Theology in preparation for ordination. He has an academic background in archaeology, history, and philosophy, and his interests include music, science fiction/fantasy, and writing.

So my friend Dave Rafferty asked me to do the #loveyourspouse challenge. How, you say?
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish." (Ephesians 5:25-27)

As a (future) priest, I am giving myself in love to Christ by giving myself to His Church, much like Joseph was espoused to Mary who was, in truth, wed to God (the Father of her Son, after all). Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church; priests are to love the Church as He does. So, for the next seven days I'll be posting pictures and thoughts to show my love for the Church, even though we haven't quite "sealed the deal" yet.

Day One: How We Met

Was it her beauty that first caught my eye, or the sound of her voice, her kindness, her way? I have no idea; I don't remember it one bit. You see, the Church is somewhat of a cradle robber; she had her eyes on me from before I was born. Thirty days after that there I was in her embrace, being washed of Original Sin in her tears of joy. After that she played hard to get; or, rather, I was just too darn ignorant of her to notice the fact she was everywhere in my life. While I was doing the zombie walk through high school and enduring heartbreak-after-heartbreak, one rejection after the next, there the Church was, waiting for me to notice her, to listen to her, to love her. She and I were more alike than I realized; she was the good girl that was always being passed up, just as I was always the good guy that would hear a friend out as she complained about the jerk she was dating, one of the many who would say, "Oh Jake, if I weren't dating jerk X I'd date you in a heartbeat."

That's the story the Church has gotten for centuries. "Oh, if the world weren't so enticing, I'd give myself to you in a heartbeat!" Me, I was just ignorant. I had no idea she was even interested in me. Sure I visited her every Sunday morning, and eventually I even helped out around the table when she'd make breakfast (she made a big deal about bread and wine; I didn't understand why at the time) not because I was a nice guy but because I was bored and it was better than just sitting in a pew listening to her boring stories.

I didn't realize until many years later that she'd been crushing on me ever since I was a baby, how she watched me grow up, how she listened to me sing as a little kid and then longed to hear me sing as a teen (but I didn't; I was so self-conscious of my voice, and I was bored), and how she LONGED for me to tell her how wonderful her meals were, but I never did. To me, it was just a snack and a break in the monotony; if only I knew then how hard she'd labored to bring me that nourishment! Oh Church, my dear! How did you endure my callous heart all those years!

Generally, I'm not all that keen on arranged marriages or betrothals, but I have tell you: every year for the past several years, on the anniversary of my baptism, I call my parents and thank them for setting me up with my gal. Sure I was pretty apathetic about it for those first years, but I can't imagine how my life would be without her today.

Come back tomorrow for Day Two: I Noticed Her Back (the Church, that is!)

The Fall Update 7QT!

Linking up with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes!

Does it feel like I'm not posting much? *I* feel like I'm not posting much.

Here's what's been happening during my MIA time.

1

Homeschooling!

John has been blowing me away with how eager and ready he was to "do school". I don't think my preschool materials are going to last past Christmas (Good Problem! Good problem?)

We have gotten to do a few fun field trips so far this October.

Hoe's Down

The annual festival of harvest glory over at Full Belly Farm. John was all over this haybale maze/pyramid, and Therese beat out all the other kids digging potatoes. Apparently being little and unusually strong gives one an advantage there...

Fleet Week

This past week was the annual Fleet Week in San Francisco. We're always busy during the weekend when the air shows and other events are happening, but have made it out on the Monday to do some of the free ship tours when things are less crowded and crazy.

This year we got to see the USS San Diego and the HMCS Calgary.

 

The San Diego has a bunch of amphibious vehicles that blew John's mind. All of the marines aboard were really nice with the little kids. Therese was a little concerned every time we had one take our picture though ("Why you take my momma phone?").

We brought priest friends with us!

Well soon to be priests.

Both of these guys are getting ordinated to the transitional diaconate next weekend!

2

Ballet

Last night was my first pointe class post-ankle sprain (that I didn't know was really an ankle sprain until after dancing a week long workshop on it, but oh well.)

It went moderately well. I didn't fall over or re-injure myself. It's going to be a long road getting that strength back, and I think I just need to re-commit to daily turn out and strengthening workouts. Goodbye relaxing naptimes!

3

English Country Dance

Our parish hosted an English Country Dance!!

It was a ton of fun, and we even got our emphatically non-dancer pastor to join in. ;)

Dancing to live music is amazing!

4

Swing Dance

Speaking of dancing, we're putting on another swing dance!

RJ and I will be teaching the lessons again. If you're in the SF Bay Area, you should come!

5

Speaking of upcoming events, we're having the former Director of the Vatican Observatory coming to give us a talk!

6

I'm going to brag on my husband for a second, y'all.

He's been doing some awesome work for our parish refugee committee collecting bikes from neighbors looking to clear out garage space, fixing them up, and distributing to refugees in the area. It's awesome to see him walking the walk for welcoming the stranger.

7

Blog news!

Remember the Love Your Spouse challenge that was going around Facebook? You're supposed to post pictures of you and your spouse for five days and tag other couples to "keep the celebration of love going".

Well someone tagged my friend Jacob Boddicker, S.J. He's a Jesuit Scholastic who will be ordained to the priesthood this June.  Instead of ignoring the tag, he wrote a five part vocation story and love letter to the church. It's beautiful! I'll be publishing the series all next week, so check back Monday.

Meet Jacob!

Jacob Boddicker is a Jesuit scholastic originally from Iowa, and is currently studying at the Jesuit School of Theology in preparation for ordination. He has an academic background in archaeology, history, and philosophy, and his interests include music, science fiction/fantasy, and writing

JEI: Fall Edition!

It's Thursday! Link up time with The Zelie Group!

Best fall flavor:  apple or pumpkin?

Pumpkin is what screams Fall and comfort for me. I'm that super basic mom with a PSL and totally fine with that. :)

My husband grew up on the East Coast where things like going apple picking are an essential part of the Fall experience. That wasn't a thing where I grew up in Texas, and the nearest apple farms are a two hour drive from where we live now.
Aside from our homemade apple cider (aka apple juice we cook long and slow with whole spices) our kids probably are growing up associating pumpkin with Fall too.

The leaves are changing colors, and the air is crisp.  What are you looking forward to about fall?

I'm a big fan of Halloween. And All Souls. And All Saints. I pretty much don't miss a chance to party.
Summer is a bit of a slow time, liturgical year speaking. Once we hit Michaelmas the party train is rolling!

There's a major holiday at the end of every month for three months in a row, and Fall starts slow. That lets me take time to slowly make DIY decorations with the kids, think about new foods to cook, parties to throw, and dream up our celebrations with the husband.

Being married to a guy who can Pinterest harder than I might help. ;)

Do you decorate for the season (and which is it: fall or autumn?)

If the above didn't tell you already, YES!

Most of the decorations I'm making are very party specific, but I have two Fall wreaths and a garland I made a few years ago that I reuse every year.

The H stays attached to the wall and I change out the wreath around it for Fall, Winter, and Spring/Summer (because they're basically the same season in the Bay Area.)

We don't have a lot of decoration space in our little apartment, but doing these little seasonal changes are something I look forward to. I dream of having a porch, real front door, and mantle to decorate!

I call it Fall more out of habit then a thought out reasoning. I'll call the season Autumn if I'm trying to be fancy or just need an A alliteration thing going on.
In Texas we just called it "Football Season" so....

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Here are the questions again for y'all!

1. Best fall flavor: apple or pumpkin?

2. The leaves are changing colors, and the air is crisp. What are you looking forward to about fall?

3. Do you decorate for the season (and which is it: fall or autumn?)

If you're a reader, answer in the comments. Link up a post if you have a blog!

What I Wish People Knew About Being Pro-life

It's Thursday, so link up time with The Zelie Group! 

It's JEI (Just Enough Info) but I'm digging pretty deep today. As always, if you want to talk more, comment or hit up one of my contact methods on the sidebar. 

Does your family or parish mark the month in a special way?

October is a bittersweet month for our family. The one year anniversary of our miscarriage is in a little less than two weeks from today. 

We have a small family altar, and I like to put particular holy cards or mementos on the altar in memory of those who are no longer with us.

I do wish our parish would mark this month. This is not the year for me to be in charge of it, but memorial masses for lost children, additional outreach to the ill and homebound, or special rosaries would mean a lot.

Do you have any books or resources to recommend on the Respect Life theme?

Honestly, there are so many good resources out there and they're so easy to find on the internet. What is tricky to finding out where we each need to grow.

I think we all have some growing to do in order to work towards creating a society where all humans are seen and valued as persons.

One of our great faults as a society, in my experience, is we don't know how to be there for someone who is grieving or struggling. Their hurt seems big and scary, and we're often so terrified of doing the wrong thing we do nothing.

We try and force "moving on" by acting like things are fine or that the hurting will be over soon.
I'll let you in on a little secret - it's never "fine". It will never be the same once a person has gone through something that hard.

What every grieving, hurting, person needs is someone to reach in, see their humanity, and be there.
How you do that varies drastically from person to person.

I know a lot of women who do that by feeding people. They are the ones who will show up with full, hot, meals on your doorstep plus a little extra to "eat on later". It doesn't matter if a new baby was born, someone just had surgery, or a loved one died. These ladies will make sure you don't starve.
Food can be a beautiful love language.

Plenty others have a gift for listening. They can listen to you ramble and struggle to put your conflicting thoughts and emotions into words and never feel the need to shut you down.

Keep inviting those people into the community and to do fun stuff. Even if they don't go, being asked means you still wanted them to be a part of your life and that they still matter.

Don't be afraid to embrace another person. Sometimes a hug is all it takes for some of that emotional healing movement to happen.

Don't wait to be asked. Step into any needs you see. Sometimes the best thing you can do is help the ones who are supporting those who are grieving.

What do you wish others understood about the Respect Life message?

The biggest thing is that it is a whole person idea. If you're pro-life you have to be pro-ALL human life.

It's a pretty simple bar: we don't kill people, and we don't decide which humans are people. Boom.

It's not a hard concept, yet we, as a society, struggle to accept it.

Just stop and think about how much time we, as a society, have WASTED arguing about who counts as human. How much of a narcissistic God-complex must one have to think we can decide who should count as human?!

Yet our society does it every day.

It's really easy y'all. Everybody counts.
Even criminals.
Even the smallest clump of a human blastocyst.
Even the insane.
Even the terminally ill.
Even those in such physical pain they are suicidal.

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If you have more questions about some of the topics I've touched on here, feel free to leave a comment or email me (underthyroof@gmail.com). I'm happy to talk more, and I'll help as much as I can. If I don't know the answer, I (probably) know where to find it!

Leave your answers to this week's questions in the comments or link up if you've got a blog!

Make sure you read the rules of the link up, and follow each of your hosts in some way!

Jessica – Pinot Noir and Prayers | Instagram | Facebook

Alicia – Sweeping Up Joy | Pinterest | Facebook
Kirby (me!)  – Under Thy Roof | Instagram | Facebook
Kerry - Fishbowl Fortune | Instagram | Facebook

Next week's questions are on Autumn/Fall Fun!

Best fall flavor:  apple or pumpkin?

The leaves are changing colors, and the air is crisp.  What are you looking forward to about fall?

Do you decorate for the season (and which is it: fall or autumn?)

Celebrating St. Francis of Assisi - 3 Easy and Cheap Ideas

Happy Feast of St. Francis of Assisi!

St. Francis is my confirmation saint, so I celebrate today as one of my personal feast days.

Growing up I had a big love for animals. They made more sense to me then the confusing gamut of pre-teen drama. I was homeschooled and just wasn't going to figure out girl code with a few hours a week of interaction with school kids. It's ok - I think I'm better for it.

Being outside with the animals was my element. I volunteered at the zoo, I was in the 4-H poultry project, and had awesome parents who let me take in the unwanted animals from family and friends.

Now we live in a little 2 bedroom apartment with no yard and a ban on pets. :(

It's not forever, but it is for now. 

Here's how we celebrate today! Lack of dirt, animals, and all!

Nature Walk

The single easiest way to celebrate St. Francis with kids - take a nature walk!

This is also what I do when I *need* to get out of the house, but don't have anywhere to go and don't want to spend any money.

From that time I took the kids to climb all over lots of big rocks. Also a good example of why I will never be a regular poster of selfies,,,,

I do a few versions of this, depending on the ages and temperaments of kids:

Sometimes it's a scavenger hunt with lists (can be a photography hunt with older ones.)

Leaf gathering, only taking things that are on the ground not the plant, to bring home and make leaf rubbing art.

Animal Search, Cat Count, Bug Find - we've come up with a lot of nature walk themes, but the point of all of them is to have the kids look at their surroundings in new ways and with a new appreciation.

And sometimes walks end with sitting in the middle of a farmer's market eating a cookie the size of your head. Appreciation was had!

 Green It Up

The Feast of St. Francis is a good opportunity to do a personal evaluation for some eco-friendly changes for your family. This does not need to be drastic - maybe this is the day you have a chat with your kids about taking shorter showers or eat some leftovers. 

I noticed when looking through my pictures of leftover meals that my response to needing to reuse something normally results in fry it, microwave it, add a sauce, or bake it with cheese.
I'm ok with this. It's delicious and less waste. Win!

If there is a big change you've been on the fence about making, today is a great day to start! 

Put that compost bin in the backyard, switch to cloth napkins, try some of those kinda weird crunchy mom things. I've surprised myself with how well a lot of it jives with my thrifty and busy life.

Have a "Dark Hour"

In line with the concept of being a little greener today, have a Dark Hour!

This is when you turn off all the things that use electricity that could be considered optional (my exception is the fridge/freezer and heat/cooling, in the event of extreme temperatures, because those are safety issues.)

That means no tech and no lights. 

Use the dark to have a holy hour! Pray the prayer of St. Francis together, sing songs, read books aloud. Shower of Roses has some great suggestions for books and coloring pages.

I recommend doing your holy hour about 3pm. 

Hour of mercy + still daylight + middle of the day when you're running out of things to do but it's too early to cook dinner.

#YouKnowYoureACatholicMomWhen...

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We'll also be celebrating with some extra dessert tonight because it is Therese's Baptism Day!!

Happy 2 years as a Catholic, Therese! 

Let's Talk About Angels

Welcome to the super belated edition of JEI (Just Enough Info) with The Zelie Group!

This has been an intense week, but it's not really going to get easier anytime soon, so it's up and at'em around here!

1. Naming your Guardian Angel: yea or nay?

I am a big fan of giving persons names. It's part of why we have not waited to find out the gender of our babies. I like knowing that nugget of information about that little person that will allow us to give them a name and refer to them by their name.

I have a name for my guardian angel, and I've used it for almost 15 years. It was the name that occurred to me to say when I was scared and wanted to pray for protection.
I just so happened to have married a man by the same name.

However, I don't know if that is this angel's God given name. It might be, it might not, and I really shouldn't concern myself with trying to find out his "real name".

2. Have you had any angel experiences?

I think so? This can sometimes be an area where stuff gets weird.
Like really weird.
Not like a "this is a leap of faith" weird, but like "OK, I'm going to stand over here now" kind of weird.

Just so we're clear, there *is* a whole section of spirituality that uses angels in a way that is not appropriate for Catholics. Angels are not controllable by humans. They're not dead people. They are pure beings who completely do the will of God.

So my big "angel experience", that I really think of more as a saint experience, came during my first night staying in the convent. I was nervous having my first night in a place that was very new and somewhat alien to me. I prayed the Guardian Angel prayer, and I felt a presence sit on my bed.

In retrospect, that really should have freaked me out but it calmed me. I was able to sleep soundly after it happened.

Do I think it was an angel? I really don't know. I really can't know. Whatever happened calmed me and allowed me to be secure in my environment.

3. How have you shared about angels with your kids?

Most of what we have talked about is about the angels we know about. St. Michael and St. Gabriel are at the top of that list.

Thursday was Michaelmas! It's the day we celebrate St. Michael casting the devil from Heaven. We have a really fun time celebrating with a devil pinata (*literally* beating the hell out of the devil, y'all!) and getting together with the young adult community.

Here's how we celebrated last year:

The funny thing about having angels, immortal beings, as saints is we can't just give them their death day as their feast day. So we picked the high points of their interaction with the human plane?
That's what makes sense to me anyway.

Thus my kids mostly know about angels as the great warriors and protectors in the spiritual world.

Including their guardian angels. Happy Feast of the Guardian Angels everybody!

Say a little prayer of thanks for those angels that work overtime.

What my kids must think. Like everyday. Every. Day.

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Your turn!

Link up if you have a blog, respond in the comments if you're a reader.

Make sure you read the rules of the link up, and follow each of your hosts in some way!

Jessica – Pinot Noir and Prayers | Instagram | Facebook

Alicia – Sweeping Up Joy | Pinterest | Facebook
Kirby (me!)  – Under Thy Roof | Instagram | Facebook
Kerry - Fishbowl Fortune | Instagram | Facebook

Next week is featuring Respect Life month!

Does your family or parish mark the month in a special way?
Do you have any books or resources to recommend on the Respect Life theme?
What do you wish others understood about the Respect Life message?