Thy Will Be Done: Why My Plans Will Always Fall Short

I'm linking up with Blessed Is She  again today. Happy Feast of St. Bridget of Sweden!

I'm just terrible at going with the flow. My version of spontaneity is spontaneously having a massive planning session for the next three months of activities. I like to know what's coming around the bend. 

But sometimes, I'm pretty sure, God just pats me on the head and says something like "you're cute, but that's not going to be the best way for you to go."

And I say something like, "but God THE PLAN?!"

And he says, "exactly."

(You totally just got my prayer life in a nutshell.)

I find the concept of needing to die to oneself in order to fully live one of the hardest truths in Catholicism. I think it's so hard because it is not something that is done once and overcome. It has to be redone, re-decided, renewed every single day.

It's not that I can't physically live without dying to myself, but am I really living if my body and soul are not in harmony?

Every time I manage to follow the path God intended for me all along I'm greeted by such peace. It's like my soul itself is sighing, "finally!"

So why didn't I just follow God's plan in the first place?

I know it would be good for me, I tend to have a feeling for what I should do, and I know firsthand the peace that comes from doing so.

So why won't I save myself the heartache?

Because I'm proud. Because I'm fallen. Because I really don't want to need God.

But I do. You do. We all do.

The sooner I remember that, the better I can be for the sake of my own soul and for the good of others.

That's way better than my newest five year plan.