This week I'm running a series, For the Love of the Church, written by my friend Jacob Boddicker, SJ.
Jacob is a Jesuit scholastic originally from Iowa, and is currently studying at the Jesuit School of Theology in preparation for ordination. He has an academic background in archaeology, history, and philosophy, and his interests include music, science fiction/fantasy, and writing.
Make sure to check out:
Near the end of my
time in St. Louis, while I was simultaneously soaring on Cloud Nine singing
with the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra chorus and freaking out over a final
paper/exam every Jesuit takes at the end of Philosophy Studies, I also was
awaiting word regarding my regency assignment.
Regency is generally a
three-year period of apostolic work in which a scholastic lives and works with
other Jesuits; this tends to occur in a high school setting but it is not
necessarily so. I had interviewed at both Red Cloud Indian School on the
Pineridge Reservation in South Dakota, as well as Xavier High in Cincinnati. I
felt a very strong pull toward the former in my prayer, and though sure it was
where God wanted me to go. Then the phone call came, and after asking how I was
doing and such my formation assistant says, “Jacob, how would you feel if your
assignment was…not at a high school?” “Well, I guess I didn’t think there were
any other options. What are you thinking?
“We have been looking
for someone to serve as the minister of the infirmary in Milwaukee, and we
don’t have any men currently available. The provincial and I talked about it
and we began wondering if a scholastic could serve in that capacity; your name
came up in subsequent conversation. The men there still talk about you from
your service during novitiate. Would you be open to this as a third possibility
for your assignment?”
“Of course; I’ll go
wherever you send me.”
A couple weeks later,
I was assigned to the province infirmary. I was so humbled; the minister of a
community is vital, and to think I would be second-in-command over a large
community of men who tended to be three times my age spoke volumes regarding
the Society’s trust in me. I fielded several emails from concerned Jesuits who
were wondering “what happened” that I not being sent to a high school like they
all were; I assured them that all was well.
My youngest brother
brought his little Dodge Neon to St. Louis and helped me move to Milwaukee. I
wasn’t there for more than a couple days before I decided that I wanted to make
sure I plugged into the local Church somehow, and so I began looking for a
parish. I remembered visiting St. Josaphat’s Basilica when I was in Milwaukee
before entering novitiate, and I thought to attend their 10am Mass on Sunday. I
was completely blown away by the beauty of the place; how I could ever have
forgotten such a beautiful church is beyond me. The equally beautiful music
combined with the well-executed liturgy sold me in a heartbeat; I knew this was
going to be my parish. My heart swelled with love for the Church, and the next
day I was calling the director of religious education and making her dream come
true:
“Hi, my name is Jacob
Boddicker; I’m a Jesuit scholastic here in Milwaukee. I’m wondering if you have
any needs I might be able to help with? I’m happy to teach or assist with
anything.”
“Oh my gosh, really?
Confirmation; would you help with Confirmation?”
“I’d be happy to.”
Friends, let me tell
you. On the surface that phone call seemed really simple; I felt like I was
doing what we tend to call “a nice thing.” But she put me in touch with Talia,
who would quickly become my first friend in Milwaukee and one of my dearest ever;
I also made my second Milwaukee friend when I met her partner-in-crime, Aaron,
who also taught Confirmation. Through them I entered into the amazing young
adult Catholic world of the Milwaukee Archdiocese, and made so many amazing
friends. I became involved in several archdiocesan events and found myself
giving talks to groups at different parishes; the Basilica even invited me to
give one of their Lenten talks, which is the largest group I think I’ve ever
spoken to.
Now, that’s all
wonderful of course, but here is where my darling Church comes in. My tenure at
the infirmary was short-lived, and after one year I was assigned to Marquette
University High School to teach Sacraments to sophomores and Catholic Social
Teaching to juniors, all boys. I had never taught before, at least not in such
a professional setting, so I was nervous. I loved the creative challenge of
making the faith accessible and relevant to youth, and I’ve been assured by
many that I did really well.
But as anyone who has
ever taught knows, teaching is incredibly hard, especially your first couple of
years, and ESPECIALLY if you have no training or background in it whatsoever.
In the infirmary I enjoyed the luxury of free nights (and reasonable bedtimes),
early mornings, a full but manageable schedule, and a great deal of
flexibility. When I was teaching, I was lucky to get six hours of sleep in a
night, assuming all my grading and prepping was done, along with any house
responsibilities I had. The prayer life I enjoyed since novitiate quickly
dwindled to Mass and what scraps I could bring to my poor Jesus at the very end
of the day; some days more, some days less, but always something. Mass became
my spiritual everything, and I learned how to “suck the marrow” out of it and
receive the spiritual nourishment and experience the closeness to Christ I
needed to make it through the day. The Church was there for me, keeping my soul
alive during two years that demanded everything I had; everything I gave came
from Jesus through her.
Besides Mass she also
supported me through the mob of friends she brought into my life during the
previous year. To this day I still cannot believe the generosity of God in
blessing me with such people in such numbers. How many weddings have I served?
How many meals have I enjoyed with you all? How often did we randomly encounter
each other as some Catholic event somewhere in the city? To all my Milwaukee
friends: you cannot comprehend the graces that came into my life through your
encouragement, kindness, and generosity. As deep as a mountain is tall is the
hole of my debt to you, and I lie at the bottom of it unable to repay!
Without this Church,
without this network of support that fed and supported my heart and soul those
two years, I know for absolute certain I could not have served my students with
the energy, joy, dedication, and creativity I strove to bring every day (some
days better than others, of course!). Every wedding I’ve served, every bit of
spiritual advice I’ve given, every tear I’ve let fall on my clerics, every
engagement announcement I’ve been among the first to receive, every baby I’ve
prayed for, every tragedy I’ve walked through with you, every question I’ve
answered, every opinion I’ve given…all of these I give because it is all I have
with which to repay you all.
I will leave this
(long, sorry!) entry on this note, to illustrate the significance my regency
Church has played in my vocation, how the Bride manifested herself in the most
challenging years of my formation. Two summers ago I was on retreat, and I was
contemplating all the ways God has showed me His love, both throughout
Salvation History but also in my personal history. I imagined St. Peter’s in
Rome, and the square was completely packed with people, save for a path that a
group of angels had cleared out; their widespread wings held the crowd back. As
I walked down this path toward the basilica, I looked around at the mass of
strangers, recognizing not a single face. I asked one angel what the crowd was,
and he said, “These are all the souls of heaven.”
I got to the basilica
and a pair of angels opened the enormous doors; inside the pews were packed and
everyone stood. As I walked toward the main altar where Jesus and Mary waited
for me I looked around and saw not only many saints whom I admire and have a
devotion for, but I also saw the faces of so many of the people I came to know
and love in Milwaukee specifically: friends from the Basilica, from Holy Hill,
from Cor Jesu, from Arise, from Marquette High, and many other places. I asked
another angel who all these people were and he said, “These are all the people
in heaven and on earth who pray for you.”
Church, who am I that
you would want me, of all people, to be yours? When you are so generous to me,
how can I refuse you, even if what you want—ME—makes no sense? Yet when my debt
of gratitude is so great, how can I give you anything less than my entire self?
At the end of my days
in Milwaukee, with many a fond and sad farewell, I departed for Berkeley, CA to
begin my theology studies and, yet again, the Church was ready to continue
surprising me.
If you missed the first installments, pop over to read:
What a beautiful image to have been shown-- all the people on heaven and earth who are praying for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your vocation love story. :)