I turned 28 this week. I’m still “so young!” (and I can still pass for a college student), but my 20s are factually inching toward their end. And I’m looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to 30 because I think our society has a much healthier idea of “your 30s” than it does of “your 20s”.
30-somethings have permission to know their deal. It’s cool to say “this is what works for me and I’m ok if you do something different.”
20-somethings are expected to look alike. See every article with “millennial” in the title. Not only is anxiety and comparison normal, it’s socially encouraged and expected. 20-something’s are supposed to be always questioning, and struggling, and never enough.
But WHY?! Why is anxiety the hallmark of our age?
I’m a confident person, and I’m used to being a little different. But I still feel awkward telling people that I don’t do the same thing(s) they do, and that I’m completely comfortable with my way of doing things. Coming from a 20-something, it sounds obnoxiously pretentious.
It sounds pretentious because I think our society has learned to treat 20-somethings as the new teens.
Teens are supposed to be impulsive, lack an adult level of responsibility, be focused on their peer group, angst riddled, and unsure of their future. That sounds suspiciously like what I've read in article after article about what is supposed to be up with 20-somethings. The glaring problem is that that is nothing like the real life 20-somethings I know.
Real life 20-somethings ARE holding immense responsibility, planning ahead, saving what they can, thinking of the future, and are concerned with all the people in their sphere and beyond.
It's awfully Catholic of us.
When Jesus called the disciples, he didn't say "answer my call once you've gained enough life experience" or "follow me if you have the ideal season of life". He said "come and follow me".
But sometimes...often...all the time... I long to follow Jesus with the approval of the world.
It feels nice when our friends approve of us and what we do. It's so much easier to say yes to Jesus when we're also saying yes to fulfilling exactly what our society expects of us.
I don't think 30-somethings have an easier time saying yes to Jesus, or owning their yes, but I do think 30-somethings are afforded more social leeway in their yes.
I see your 30s as a time you are expected to be coming into your own. To be doing good, valuable, work. To have an opinion and now the social backing for people to take that opinion seriously.
In short, in your 30s there is a greater likelihood of being treated as a full adult.
Wouldn't it be fabulous if your 20s were the same way? How beautiful of a world would there be if more people felt respected, valid, and encouraged in their work? What if the social focus of your 20s could be more on truth and goodness and others instead of eat-pray-love "finding yourself"?
Many 20-somethings are already living that reality. It makes sense that the rest of us should treat them accordingly.
It sounds pretentious because I think our society has learned to treat 20-somethings as the new teens.
Teens are supposed to be impulsive, lack an adult level of responsibility, be focused on their peer group, angst riddled, and unsure of their future. That sounds suspiciously like what I've read in article after article about what is supposed to be up with 20-somethings. The glaring problem is that that is nothing like the real life 20-somethings I know.
Real life 20-somethings ARE holding immense responsibility, planning ahead, saving what they can, thinking of the future, and are concerned with all the people in their sphere and beyond.
It's awfully Catholic of us.
When Jesus called the disciples, he didn't say "answer my call once you've gained enough life experience" or "follow me if you have the ideal season of life". He said "come and follow me".
But sometimes...often...all the time... I long to follow Jesus with the approval of the world.
It feels nice when our friends approve of us and what we do. It's so much easier to say yes to Jesus when we're also saying yes to fulfilling exactly what our society expects of us.
I don't think 30-somethings have an easier time saying yes to Jesus, or owning their yes, but I do think 30-somethings are afforded more social leeway in their yes.
I see your 30s as a time you are expected to be coming into your own. To be doing good, valuable, work. To have an opinion and now the social backing for people to take that opinion seriously.
In short, in your 30s there is a greater likelihood of being treated as a full adult.
Wouldn't it be fabulous if your 20s were the same way? How beautiful of a world would there be if more people felt respected, valid, and encouraged in their work? What if the social focus of your 20s could be more on truth and goodness and others instead of eat-pray-love "finding yourself"?
Many 20-somethings are already living that reality. It makes sense that the rest of us should treat them accordingly.
What are your thoughts on being a 20-something vs. a 30-something?
"20's are the new teens"...so true!! :/
ReplyDeleteIt really feels like there’s been a shift in the last few years, because I’m turning 32 next month and never really felt like people treated me as a teen in my 20s. I wonder what’s contributing to this change, because I can definitely see it now...but you’re right, many people in their 20s are doing some amazing things!
ReplyDeleteMy problem is convincing people that I’m actually in my 30s 😂😏
I think it hit different parts of the country at different times too! I was treated as an uneducated teen mother when I had my first at 21 (days from 22) in the Bay Area. In Minnesota I'm far less of an anomaly.
DeleteI can still get cast as 19 so....
Yep. I feel almost guilty for being only 27 and sort-of having my life together. People expect me to be a hot mess, and I feel like I'm over achieving when I actually manage to not fall apart. Why is failure the expectation?
ReplyDeleteThe expectation for failure really gets to me. I sometimes hear women commiserating about everything going wrong in their lives, and not enough of saying what is good or building up the good.
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