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Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Maybe Don't Diet for Lent



Lent is coming in a matter of days (days!). Which  means "What are you giving up?" is the Catholic conversation starter of choice.

In the past few years I've seen a progression from giving up soda, desserts, or alcohol to giving up whole food groups or taking on highly restrictive diets. While not necessarily a bad practice, and comes with the territory if you are an Eastern rite Catholic, I wonder if this is becoming popular for non-spiritually fruitful reasons.

Often I've heard the argument that using fad restrictive diets is an easy way to challenge yourself and to get information about your body. While Whole 30, Keto, Paleo and whatever else is the hip way to eat in a year from now, may hit the criteria of challenging your food choices, I'm not sure they are useful as a Lenten practice.
Here are some questions to ask yourself before choosing a restrictive diet as your Lenten discipline.

If you're brutally honest, why you want to do this?

It's very easy to fall into the trap of thinking Lent will work like a magic spell. Everything you touch in the name of Lent will work out because it's a holy time! When we think like this, we forget that we are still ourselves. We still come into Lent with our personalities, baggage, struggles, and state of life.

Is your relationship to food something that has been difficult for you for a while?
Do you believe the foods you are cutting out via the diet are "bad" foods?
Did you pick this diet because it's popular in your friend group?

These are all questions that deserve some thought before embarking on this Lent!

Have you struggled with "failing" Lents before?

Do you tend to set your Lenten bar high, and go into deep disappointment when you slip up? Has that happened over and over?

Even though the fasting and abstinence traditions in the Eastern rites look incredibly demanding (and are demanding) that bar is more of a aspiration than it is a base level. Perhaps give yourself some grace this Lent and choose to set your bar high and work up to it. Or make small conscientious choices throughout the day instead of cutting food groups out wholesale.

Consider the weight your mortification will place on others

Perhaps you don't mind subsisting on veggies exclusively, cutting out all added sugars, or having limited protein sources - but is that true for your spouse? Is it reasonable to plan on making multiple dinners? Are your choices going to make it difficult to participate in community events? Thinking about the impact your choices have on others is a big part of being true Church.

Think beyond the food box

Maybe what you seek to rectify is not really about food. Perhaps you are struggling with self-discipline. Or simplicity. Or generosity.

Many of us grew up giving up a food something as a Lenten discipline, and still think of food restrictions as The Way to Lent. But I would like to challenge you to a little more honesty and awareness of your own struggles. Name the underlying struggle you are trying to address.

Last year I realized partway through Lent that I was struggling with procrastination. It didn't look like it, I'm very much a type A over-doer, but I was procrastinating never the less.
Phone calls would get carried over on my to do list for weeks.
Prayer time was something I would get to "later".
I would avoid rest by finding just one more chore to do.
Choosing to be aware of my underlying struggle made for a fruitful Lent that didn't leave me feeling like a failure for my slip ups!

Have you ever done a restrictive diet for Lent? What were your reasons? Did it make for a fruitful Lent? What did you learn?

Friday, February 22, 2019

Amelia Hill House - 1 Year In




Facebook reminded me that today marks one whole year since we closed on Amelia Hill House.
Here's the things that have, and haven't, changed about this little homestead in the past year.

What Has Changed


A lot of non-glamorous stuff

Anyone who has bought an old house can tell you that they can take a ton of upstart work - a lot of which does nothing to improve aesthetics.
Before we moved in we knew the electric needed substantial replacement. The attic had too little insulation and what was there included the remains of some critters who moved in for a bit. The water softener was not functioning, and the entire house needed a through cleaning after sitting empty for a number of years.

Some dream projects did happen

The kitchen wasn't just not aesthetically pleasing, many of appliances were on their last legs or were straight up non-functioning. Before move in we opted to re-do the entire kitchen area and downstairs bathroom.

Bathroom - Before


Kitchen - Before

I'm so grateful we did. We got to design a kitchen that would work well for us - adding in an island and rigging up a gas range.
The bathroom is so much more usable, and the re-do took care of a mildew problem that we didn't know was happening under some cabinets.

Bathroom - After

Kitchen - After

Library is Reality!

I have dreamed about having my own library since seeing Beauty and the Beast as a kid.

I mean, who wouldn't?!
When we saw the downstairs bedroom was really very awkward as a bedroom (it's right off the dining room and shares a bathroom with the kitchen) the dream of a library was born.

This:
Has become this:


Surprise House History

A year ago we thought this house only dated to 1901. Which is, granted, still over a century old, but not as old as it might be. After finding a letter from the great-granddaughter of the original builder, I have put in a decent amount of research to corroborate her story and track down what I can about the house and original family.
It's a thrill to find even a scrap of newspaper in the library archives that mentions the correct Schmidt family (which I now know that name is to peoples of German descent that Smith is to English. Oh so many false trails.) I've had some success tracking down the original land patent and records of the various land buys and deals that created the farmland our home was designed to oversee. 
The local historic society is getting interested in learning more about the German speaking founders of the city, and thinks our house might be one of the oldest, if not the oldest, still standing. Hopefully I can put in more research time this summer and find out! 

Many projects are on back back burner

The house underwent renovation projects in the 1950s and 1970s. The 1970s has left us the popcorn ceilings and soot stained sandstone fireplace. I would love to tackle the damaged wallpaper in the dining room and living room, finish painting the day nursery, and finally get a lot of our art up on the walls.
But does it cause daily living or safety issues? No.
So it's been a practice in letting go and allowing fixing up Amelia Hill House to be a slow meander rather than a sprint. 

Summer Take Two

Buying a house in Minnesota in the winter meant we had no idea what was underneath all that snow and ice!
This summer will be our first time getting serious about gardening, and taking advantage of the blessed former owner who designed our yard to always have something blooming during the growing season.

Just before winter set in, I found an egress window to a crawl space under the guest house that I didn't know existed. We also have a well under the guest house that needs to be capped this Spring/Summer. I see some summer archaeology in our future!


It's Really Home

The house has now seen everyone's birthday, a Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. After years of renting and moving and always being ready to pack up and leave, the feeling of getting to settle in is a luxury. We're still learning. It's still a heck of a lot of work, and there will be more to come, but this house seems to be up for the task of sheltering a new motley crew of young-ins - 144 years after the first set.

Linking up with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes!

Monday, February 18, 2019

A Prayer for the Clerics at the Vatican Summit on Abuse




"If you were an educated laywoman in Rome [this] week, what would you do? Who would you talk to you? What would you say?"

Meg Hunter-Kilmer asked this question a few days ago, and it took me a little while to process the possibility. Even though I'm an educated Catholic woman, who is anything but leery of speaking my mind, I must confess I have never honestly believed that men in the upper echelons of the clergy would have any interest in what I have to say.
Because I don't wield any canonical power.
Because I don't have a degree in Philosophy, Theology, or Law.

But I do have dreams, hopes, and longings of my soul that scream to be told to these men who have been entrusted with the future of our Church.
I will be honest and say I don't have much of any faith in these men as a group - even though I hold individuals in high esteem for the help and support I have witnessed them generously give toward healing the offenses of their brothers. I don't expect this summit to bring closure, a path forward, or be much more than finally getting around to doing "the least they could do."

But I recklessly continue to pray, against the evidence of my senses and mind, that these men will surprise us all.

I pray that the magnitude and gravity of the offenses committed be unavoidable

How often have I read statements and comments from bishops, cardinals, and priests that just show that they don't fully understand the seriousness of the situation. That they cannot consider the possibility that their vows classmate, seminary buddy, associate, etc. could have fallen so far from the standards of decent humanity. I pray daily that the scales will fall from their eyes, and that they will have the strength to accept the failings of their brothers with a full and swift justice.

I pray that the feminine genius be allowed to serve its role

Even though, as far as I know, this meeting is being held by and for the male clergy, I pray that women may be allowed to serve their role and form these men. This means men will have to deliberately practice hearing the women of their flock. Women have the potential to bring new perspectives and innovative solutions for crafting space for healing and reconciling victim-survivors back into the life of the Body of Christ. It's not standing in the place of the priest, but it is standing as a stepping stone for someone who has been violated by the those who wore the face of the church.

I pray that every bishop will confront the demons in their own diocese, and any within themselves

This is particularly that every bishop will not focus solely on the abuse of minors, even though this summit makes that error, but addresses all vulnerable people who have been violated. This requires seeing the scandal of abuse and it's cover up in it's full, messy, complicated evil.

I pray that every cleric will make a conscious decision to see the consequences of depravity and the depth of the betrayal wrought by the systemic cover up of abuse.

Not every priest or deacon has been ready, or willing, to reconsider their own prejudices and blind spots. Too many have leaned into comfortable party lines of blaming Vatican II, liberals, traditionalists, whatever their pet project might be. But to do so uses victims for selfish ends - violating again those who have already been unconscionably violated.
There can be no excuses for evil, no matter how uncomfortable or inconvenient.

I pray that these realities of our shared history will be poignant and unfathomable

This is a forever turning point in our church history. This is a moment where innocent belief and blind faith has to die away. I pray that the laity will never return to "business as usual". That we will make a collective effort to see and hear the victim-survivors who have found it within themselves to make steps back to the church that has so betrayed them. That we will have willing hands and loving hearts open to fighting against the temptation to fall back into comfortable habits.

I pray that this will be the moment we can honestly stand together, in the fullness of being church, and say "never again."

Logically I know that abuses will happen again, but that doesn't stop me from praying that they won't. I want every member of the church, and every non-Catholic, to stand and see and refuse to look away from abuses when they happen. To prevent as much as we can, and be ready to do what is necessary and just when they do.
Maybe I can't truly hope for "never again" for abuse, but you can bet I'm going to fight tooth and nail for "never again" will another cover up occur in my faith family.


*************
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Friday, February 1, 2019

A Quick Update from the Frozen North

Hello to all who too have just survived a Polar Votex! A quick little newsy update from the, still frozen, North.

Picture from last year. She could have gotten frostbite in under 5 minutes if we attempt this photo this week THAT'S HOW COLD IT WAS.


1

For a girl used to natural disasters involving sirens the and the risk of sudden death, the winter version of weather emergency is a little...underwhelming? It's a very slow moving emergency! Winter weather doesn't touch everyone with equal danger in the way that a tornado can. More resources = better outcomes in this situation.
As we stayed home and cooked creatively out of the pantry, I tried to reiterate to my kids how having a warm house, working furnace, food in the pantry, isn't a given for everyone.

2

The kids also learned that snow days don't mean much when you're homeschooled - especially when it's too cold to play outside.
We did start reading Hilda van Stockum's Canadian Summer as our read aloud, and it really does help to read about the height of summer in the depths of winter.

3

The extreme cold resulted in just about every being cancelled/closed this week. And I mean everything. The bars were even closed on Wednesday, so no St. Brigid ceili dancing for us.

Losing the entire week of rehearsals two weeks before opening is less than ideal. We were supposed to start dress runs this week, but now we haven't tried final costumes, haven't seen the set, haven't done promo photos, and the phones have been down for ticket sales all week.
Some help from St. Genesius would be good right about now.

The cast have been meeting when we can for "line throughs" - which is basically doing a rehearsal sitting down and running lines over and over again. Some might meet over the weekend, but I won't be there because....

4

I'm going on retreat this weekend!
It's my first retreat in over a decade, and I'm looking forward to it. If you'll be at St. John's Abbey in Minnesota this weekend, say hi! 

5

In the spirit of embracing our new state, and getting out of my comfort zone, the two older kids and I started ice skating lessons! I've decided the only overlap in skill set between ballet and ice skating is core control and leg muscles. That's it. 
I have yet to figure out how to balance weight in skates that don't make my feet ache like mad 15 minutes into the lesson. So if you know a trick, send it my way.

6

Can we just talk about how exciting it is to be DONE WITH JANUARY?!
Seriously, this was the longest January of my life.

I have more announcements about changes coming for Spring, that I can hopefully tell you about soon. (I'm the worst at keeping good news secret.)

7

February 1st is St. Brigid's Day! So have a good Irish beer (or at the very least, an amber ale) today. Ya know, for #liturgicalliving.