Hello everybody! We just got back Sunday night from a whirlwind house finding trip in Minneapolis and I think we found a house! More on that later as we make our housing decisions official.

Since we're planning on moving right after Easter, I'm working the moving preparations into my Lent. I started doing that because that was a logistical reality of our moving timing, but I like how the mindset that we need to be ready to go where ever we are called has changed how I'm approaching this Lent.

I am still doing the three prong take on, give up, and pray on focuses that I have used in past years, but I feel like this year has become a little more disciple-like - preparing myself, body and soul, to pick up and go.

Here's the plan!

Take On and Give Up

These two things go together this year. I'm taking on the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge and giving up all of the clutter I have been holding onto. Some of those are sentimental things that I cannot justify holding onto, cleaners I have been saving just in case I need them, craft supplies I have never used after storing them for nearly a decade, etc.

I made a very structured plan for myself to keep myself on track. You can check out my themed, color coded, display-of-type-A-gone-crazy plan on this post.

The 40 Bags idea is not just about physical clutter, but also has to do with digital, emotional, and spiritual clutter. Having a focused time on addressing that ignored baggage sounds like just the ticket for preparing to start anew.

I will be taking off Sundays and other feast days that would normally be exempted from the Lenten fast. The feasts make the fasts all the more meaningful!

Pray On

Since there is so much going on, and lots and lots of life changing decisions to make in the coming months, I am going to be focused on discernment this Lent. Setting aside particular time for 10 minute listening, 10 minute free write, and a dedicated rosary everyday.

When I know I have logistical discernment to do, I like to include the writing aspect so I can see how my thinking changes and what ideas and thoughts popped up.

Endow

I decided to run one last Endow study at my parish before we move. We will be working through the Aquinas Part 2 study that focuses on understanding the theological and moral virtues and applying them to our own lives as women in the world.

Because we are meeting most of the Fridays of Lent, I wanted to make this session a little more retreat-like. We are lucky enough to be able to use the former parish convent space which contains a BEAUTIFUL chapel. Our deacon has agreed to expose the Eucharist for us during the half hour prior to the meeting. So we get a half hour of adoration, a great study to feed our intellect and grow our understanding of faith, and some tea and fellowship time with other Catholic women every Friday for the 8 week session.

We start next week! There are still a few slots - if you are in the Berkeley, CA area, send me an email if you wish to join us.

This post is part of the CWBN Blog Hop with #HowILent theme! Check out the hop to reader how other Catholic women are doing Lent this year.

How are you planning your Lent this year? Do you do take on, give up, pray on?

40 Bags in 40 Days Plan - AKA. Time to Get Ready for Moving!

Even before I knew we would be moving so soon after Easter, I had planned to participate (for the first time!) in 40 Bags in 40 Days with White House Black Shutters.

I normally do some deep cleaning during the Ember Days but this year more purging of stuff felt needed. Now that we are likely moving shortly after Easter, I'm taking the 40 Bags project even more seriously.

Because I'm still my Type A self, I made a color coded themed chart with specific topics for every 7 days of work! I do intend to take Sundays and feast days off. I tried to vary the themes to have some more physical weeks and weeks that were lighter. It's a marathon not a sprint here.

Paper clutter tops my list of things to clean out since it is probably the largest problem to tackle. I think it will have the largest visual impact too. I'm hoping that helps give me the inertia to keep going on the things I REALLY don't want to do....namely cleaning out the kitchen stuff....

Anyone else participating this year? What's the biggest area you want to tackle? What have you been avoiding at all costs?

Car-Free with Little Kids

Linking up with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes!

We have been very blessed to live in an area where having a car is not necessary. I have not personally driven in almost eight years, and we have never owned a car. Many family and friends assumed we would need a car after our first child was born, but I especially love being car-less with kids. They develop a lot of walking stamina and leaving the house is as simple as putting on shoes, and maybe strapping on the Ergo, and LEAVING.

It's not possible in every area, but, if you want to give the car-less life a shot, here's how we make it work.

1

Budget lots of travel time

Little legs have a max speed, so it normally takes me a good 20-30 minutes to get somewhere that's a mile away. I've found it's worth it to take a more pleasant route that is a few minutes longer, than the quickest, but less beautiful, path. 

2

Practice different terrain and going longer distances

We live in a very hilly area so my early walkers all get lessons in how to go up and down hills. (It's more complicated than you think.) We also ease in to longer longer (and hillier) distances bit by bit with the toddlers to build up stamina. The goal is to get my 3 year olds comfortably walking a mile.

3

Backup Babywearing

Just in case the toddler is less ready, or just less cooperative today, than I had hoped - I bring a backup Ergo in my tote bag. It beats carrying a deadweight toddler (or worse, a squirming toddler) in arms until you get to your destination.

4

Cut down on what you need to bring when out and about

Space is at a premium when you have to carry anything you might need while out. I have a zippered tote bag of sand toys that comes along to the park, and I bring water bottles for everyone, but that's mostly it. I don't carry snacks, backup clothing for the potty trained, or toys and books. Therese is most of the way to potty training so I don't need a diaper bag (or bottle bag) right now.

Figuring out what you really need and use is important to achieve feeling less like a pack mule.

5

Get a transit card

We have these lovely transit cards in my area that are loaded with funds that are applied when you touch the card to a reader before boarding a bus, train, or trolley. There are often discounts for using the cards (instead of buying a pass every morning), and it's phenomenally faster with kids.

6

Join a carshare

Eventually there comes a need to go further than your legs, or the bus lines, will allow. For things like hikes and Thanksgiving visits, we use a car from our local carshare. There are cars located all over the city and you check it out for a period of time. All of the carshare companies have their own rules and rates so shop around. (For weekend trips, it's often cheaper to rent a car from a traditional car rental. Again, shop around.)

Additional note: invest in a carseat that is lightweight and easy to install. Those bases are not helpful when they don't stay in a car.

7

Make use of delivery services and DIY

We live very close to a grocery store, but carrying bulky or heavy things home is still a challenge. I've made use of the Grove Collective, Amazon Prime, and Diapers.com for bulk wipes, cleaning supplies, formula, etc. 

I also DIY a much of things that I just didn't want to carry home anymore - bone stock and hand soap are my biggest ones. Now they're cheaper and better than what I was buying at the store AND I don't have to carry them home. - win!

What questions do you have about being car-less with kids? What did I leave out? Share your tips too!

How We Met

When Alicia, from Sweeping Up Joy, put up the questions for this edition of JEI (Just Enough Info) I realized that I have not told the story of how we met!

1. How did you meet your spouse?

We're one of those Catholic dating site success stories. We met on catholicsingles.com!

Back then it was free if you were college aged. I had made an account over the summer with my Mom thinking we would get to the end and would have to pay - which would be the end of that. But it was free so it stayed up. Matt was brand new to the area, he had just moved here to start grad school at UC Berkeley, and in a moment of extroversion he had made one to meet more people.

I was a sophomore in college then, so I was a little younger than he was originally looking for, but he says he "made an exception for me".

We met in person at a local coffee shop, escorted by my college hallmate (because meeting-a-guy-from-online! We'd seen the movies.) We decided to head to mass at the Newman center afterwards and our first dinner was the student dinner in the Newman center hall following mass.

Now it was a longstanding debate about whether or not that meeting was classified as a "first date". I said yes, but Matt always referred to it as "zeroth date". I conceded the argument as his Valentine's present.....eventually....

My hallmate decided he was safe for us to have an actual date on our own, so we had our real first date the next week making an Apple Pie at his place.

The actual pie that started it all.

Cooking, namely cooking our way through each issue of Cooks Illustrated, was a central part of our dating time.

2. What’s your ideal date? or What’s your funniest dating story?

I have to admit I'm not a fan of the traditional dinner and a movie date. It seems to use a lot of time that doesn't involve real interaction.

I far prefer things like hiking or exploring somewhere new.

This first, ever, photo that Matt took of me on a hike in the Marin Headlands with some of my friends from college.

Now that we have kids, we've become pretty good at stay-at-home dates. My favorite involves bringing drinks to the rooftop of our building after the kids are down for the night, and hanging out there watching the lights across the Bay.

If we get to go out for an evening, I like trying new restaurants with my husband. He's very much a foodie and has a talent for knowing where the new cool spots are in the area. I know by the time we leave for the date he has scoped out the menu, the ingredients, reviews, the chef, and things in the vicinity. It's like having your own private food expert!

3. What couple from literature, TV, or the movies best mirrors you and your spouse?

Gosh this is hard.

The closest thing I can think of is Jim and Pam from The Office, but that's largely because I thought Matt looked a bit like Jim while we were dating.

See what I mean?

I've honestly never seen or read about a relationship and thought "oh-em-gee-it's-US!" Just hasn't happened yet. I'll get back you if I do!

I'd love to hear your answers to this week's questions in the comments!

A Week of Big Announcements!

Linking with with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes!

Things have been a little quieter on the blog due to lots and lots of big developments! Everything I thought/hoped would happen over the course of this year  happened in one week! Here's all of the big announcements and news.

1

Husband Got a New Job

Matt got a (somewhat surprise) offer for a job on Thursday, terms on Friday, and we had the weekend to decide. We officially accepted the offer on Monday.

Which means....

2

We're Moving to Minnesota

And the new job is in Minnesota! Twin Cities to be more specific.

Hit me up with your local tips, homeschool/Catholic stuff in the area, and any and all tips for surviving winter with kids. Or just surviving winter. I'm from Texas, I do natural disasters not long term dark and cold.

3

We're House Hunting

We will probably be renting for the first year (due to the REALLY not sure about this winter business). If you have tips on neighborhoods, leads on 3+ bedroom houses for rent, etc.

Very much looking forward to having our own laundry machines!

4

New Baby Makes an Appearance in September

Yup, we're pregnant!

It felt like it took forever, but we are expecting baby due in mid-late September. Interviewing midwives now so any recs for homebirth midwives in the Twin Cities would be awesome.

5

John's reaction to the moving and baby news: "Momma, I'm excited about the new baby.....and the new backyard." #SameLevelofExcitment

He's also very interested in what baby looks like each week, and very concerned this baby does not have legs or hands yet. Sorry kid, growing a baby takes a while.

6

The Importance of Being Earnest opened

Opening weekend went great! Happy to be back onstage tonight.

If you're in the SF Bay Area, you should come see the show! You can find ticket info here.

7

We're still awaiting reviews to come out (and I'm dying), but in the meantime photos were released!

Some are from our early (before we knew what our costumes would be in final form) photoshoot, but the others were from one of the last dress rehearsals. My cast is gorgeous!

What I'm Doing Here

This is part of the CWBN Blog Hop. Visit here each month for a new topic with Catholic women bloggers.

"What am I even doing here?"

I would be lying if I said that thought has never crossed my mind - in fact, it has happened in just about every situation. I question what I'm really working towards in ballet, in parish work, in auditions, even at the park. I wonder what I have to offer that is any different from everyone else or if I am making any forward movement at all.

Blogging might be one of the biggest areas of that last wondering. The blog world isn't exactly lacking the voice of a Catholic mom, but here I am talking anyway on the tiniest off chance I might be your brand of weird.

In case you're new here, I want to take the chance to let you get to know me a little better!

Intro time!

I'm a Texas girl living in the SF Bay Area. I'm home with my 4 and 2 year old during the day, and I dance, act, and sing by night. More on the About Me page

Why I Started Blogging

My first post was in July of 2015. I started writing my own blog because I had noticed that no one asked me any questions that did not relate to my kids. Ever. I figured that if no one thought I had anything to say than I had better start talking!

How This Blog Got Its Name

My husband suggested the name Under Thy Roof after my first few choices for blog names were taken. I wanted something to  simultaneously reference the little domestic church and the big Catholic Church.

Under Thy Roof references the words of the Roman Centurion in Matthew 8, which are also the last words we speak in preparation to receive the Eucharist at mass, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed." I like to think of my home, and my personhood, as being God's first and foremost. Hence it's all his roof. I just live and work here.

What I Do Here

You might have noticed that I write a lot about Catholicism, Parenting, Homeschool, Performing (mostly about Ballet but I throw some theater in there too), and I have a penchant for writing strong articles when something makes me mad.

I honestly think there are other people on the internet who can cover the first three better than I, in fact I know they do (maybe with the exception of this particular issue), but I feel like I'm speaking in an echo chamber when it comes to performing. I know it is not because there are not moms working in the performing arts, because I work with some of them and I am one, but their voices are hard to find outside the theater.

Performing is a big part of who I am, and that did not die with that first positive pregnancy test. Continuing to take my opportunities to perform, even with little kids, takes some creativity and gumption but has been well worth it. I am proud to show my kids that they enhance my life, and that it is possible, even desirable, to grow your passions at the same time. We've found a beautiful balance in our lives that allows both my husband and I to pursue what we love. 

I don't think I'm the only person like me out there, so I am writing this for her. 

For the mom who is currently walking through the intense loneliness and isolation of that first year with baby.

For the Catholic woman who feels called to veiling.

For the young adult who feels like they are a social pariah for wanting to be fully Catholic.

For the new homeschool parents who worries their kid is missing out.

For everyone who wonders what might have happened if they had stuck with ballet a little longer.

For anyone scared of going for something new and failing.

If I might be your flavor of weird, stick around and introduce yourself! If you just think I'm weird, stick around too. Lord knows you're in good company. 

Small Space Living - Or How We Live in a Two Bedroom Apartment with Two Kids

Linking up with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes.

When people think of small space living the image of the tiny houses that are so popular in HGTV-land come to mind. But most of us small space dwellers are not living in a custom made tiny house we have to ourselves on gorgeous property. The vast majority are living in apartments. Some of us are even crazy enough to do it with kids!

We have lived in apartments our entire marriage. Our first child was brought home to our first apartment - a one bedroom walk up in a building that didn't have laundry facilities. We made that work until our first child was almost two, and I was expecting our second child. Then we moved to a two bedroom apartment where our daughter was born, and where we currently live with our 4.5 year old and 2 year old.

Here's the lowdown on apartment living with kids!

What I like about it

It's easy to keep clean. It's not a big space so it only takes a few minutes each day to tidy.

It's convenient. I love not needing to have a car. If I had to buckle two kids into car seats and find parking (especially in the SF Bay Area) I feel like we would go on far less adventures. We currently are an easy walking distance from a grocery store, library, two parks, and our parish. We're right on a bus line so it's super fast to get downtown.

It forces creativity and thought about objects. I don't have all the space in the world, and that means I can't be a pack rat even if I wanted to be.

It's just big enough for our needs. I'm not forever cleaning rooms we never use and I don't need to use extra power to heat a large house.

What I could live without

Shared laundry facilities. If you've seen this post you might have figured out that I do not enjoy the shared laundry room situation. One of the things about apartment living is that a lot is dependent on neighbors having decent life skills. I don't enjoy having to stop the washer before actual flames appeared due to overstuffing the drum (smoking washing machines smell terrible FYI). Using quarters for every laundry load adds up too.

Tiny kitchen. I was in my second trimester with our daughter when we found this apartment, and so happy about finding a decently sized place, at a good rent, and in a decent location, I did not pay as much attention to the kitchen as I probably should have.
Ours is TINY. I mean really tiny. The entire thing is a three stride long shotgun kitchen, with an electric stovetop that looks straight out of the 70s (probably is from the 70s), and a less than standard size oven. We make it work, to an impressive degree I think, but never again on the electric stove or tiny oven.

How we have kids in this space without going crazy

So how to deal with all this plus kids?

1. LEAVE. Everyday. I really can't stress this enough. In an apartment there is no backyard, basement, or extra rooms to take a break from being in each other's faces all day. Sometime between 9 and 10am we will leave the house. Everyday. Sometimes to the library or a park or some other adventure. Sometimes we just wander around, going nowhere in particular. We don't come back until lunchtime, and by then everyone handles being back home in a much more pleasant manner.

2. Use the space thoughtfully. When you are home, think about structuring the use of your space. Maybe you make a cozy reading corner for story time. I have a spot on my couch where there are blankets, my oil diffuser, a table for my coffee, and my books where I write and have my downtime. Having these designated mini-areas helps prevent the I-live-in-a-hotel-room kind of feeling.

3. Toy purging and curating. Number one issue with space and kids - kid stuff. Especially toys and books, since they seem the most prone to exploding all over the house. Yes, there are some genius organizational potential to be found on Pinterest, but really the best option is to make sure what you have is what you want. 

4. Ground rules for noise and patio time. We are lucky enough to have a shared patio space with our next door neighbors, but I've made some ground rules for when the kids can be out there and for noise levels in general. Kids seem to like being up with the dawn, but there must be at least an attempt at keeping the noise level down until 9am. It helps that we start chores about 7:30 and lessons at 8:00. By the time we're ready for some bigger play it's normally about 9:00 anyway. By having the rule it's much easier to be consistent for the kids and considerate of our childless neighbors.

5. Tidy Times. We have a few set "tidy times" where everyone helps do a 5-10 minute pick up: before we leave in the morning, before nap, before dinner, and before bed. These are timed for a very important reason - they are all right before we leave the house or kids go down to sleep. Therefore your tidy time will pay off for longer than 20 minutes. Makes such a difference for feeling like it's worthwhile to clean!

6. Make it pretty. Especially if you're a stay at home mom or if you work from home. This is your everything space: your office, your rec room, your craft space, your school room, etc. You will spend a lot of time here, and you can't just go home at the end of the day. Make it pretty! Make it somewhere you *want* to be. For me this means adding photos (in frames), purging the space of clutter every so often, and rotating seasonal decorations.

7. Love on your neighborhood. For most of us apartment dwellers, we're here for a reason. Maybe you're saving for a house or maybe you are temporarily in an area. We are living in this apartment so we can live in a very walkable area - less than a block away from our parish, groceries, restaurants, and parks, and a short bike ride to the husband's work - so it only makes sense to take advantage of that proximity. Choosing to see the positives in the situation really helps to make apartment living more of an enjoyable state.

What are some of your small space living tips? Have you ever lived in a small space with kids?