Talking Off-line
In the Diocese of Minneapolis/St. Paul, the young adults have been leading discussions about the church crisis, developing concrete steps for moving forward, and submitting a letter to the Bishop. I attended the first large discussion with over a hundred other young adults. While I felt like it was a productive conversation at my table, the equal representation of men and women in the room was not reflected in who stood up to address the larger group.
I emailed the organizers about it. Which turned into an invitation to their next planning meeting.
Which turned into getting involved in next steps.
Which turned into being listed as an organizer by the time the letter was released.
All within just a few days.
That meant that more people have been coming up to me wanting to talk about the crisis and what is being done about it in the diocese. I love having those conversations in person! Human connection is so very important for having these hard discussions, and I believe very strongly that we need to feed our community connections now more than ever.
Not every conversation is positive, but I think it is harder for most people to see the subject of their frustration as an object when they are a flesh and bone person standing in front of them.
Writing Online
All of those in person conversations have been enlightening. Plenty of young parents have told me that changes are unnecessary, that the "past should be in the past", or just straight up that the crisis does not concern them.
I wrote a piece for YA Respond, the collection of people who are behind the young adult response in the diocese, addressing that reaction.
Beyond that, I've been on the quiet side online because of....
The Fallout
I knew there would be push back, but I never anticipated how much I would be torn down by other WOMEN. I've gotten hateful emails, messages, comments. One women told me, to my face, that I should "Go home and love your babies instead of talking like this."
It's been a lesson in internalized misogyny, I tell you what.
I appreciate that it's easier for women to be angry at another woman, and to take out their frustrations on someone like me who is sticking her neck out. But just because something is easy does not make it ok. I'm not actually an endless pit that can take all the evil of the world. I'm a human being who isn't always being seen as one right now.
Let's be very clear here - if you have issues with how things are being handled right now, you are invited to get your butt in gear and do something too. I will not allow anyone to continue on harming their own souls by venting their hatred.
Protecting my own mental health has been important because, imagine that, I still have other things going on in my life.
Homeschooling
Like homeschooling. This has been a rocky year.
This year I am schooling 1st grade and preschool. 1st grade seems to be a turning point on when it's ok to be different from your peers. Suddenly I'm getting a lot of push back about learning to read (still on that struggle bus) and doing pretty much anything I ask during the day.
It's very hard when the number of young homeschooling families seems to be plummeting, and all his little friends are in the parish school together or at various other schools.
The preschooler would prefer to do school everyday. She does not believe in this concept of "the weekend". If she could start kindergarten right now, that would be swell by her.
Preschooler has been allowed to start phonics because I just can't keep her from starting any longer. Open to suggestions for a struggling to blend, not even beginning, reader. I've tried most of what I've found online and it's not doing the trick here on week 5.
Bleaching E V E R Y T H I N G
The drama could not stop with the big kids! I brought the baby into the doctor with, what I thought, was a bad yeast diaper rash. It was that, but also Staph. STAPH. Eeeeeeeek!!!
This has been a lesson in how little can actually be done against bacteria, but I am fighting this battle with so. much. bleach.
ALLLLLLL THE BLEACHHHHHH!!
Modern medicine is a marvel, y'all.
Somehow this baby is still pretty cheerful, despite the infection with the awful creatures.
Auditioning
It's been a few weeks of hard, and frankly I needed a win. I did an audition that I *think* went really well!
I'm the kind of Type A actor who keeps an audition log. That way I can record exactly how many times I've thrown myself against this brick wall. (I jest...sort of...) This was my 15th audition. In my "mood coming out" column for this audition I put "nailed it". We'll see what ends up in the "outcome" column.
Amelia Hill House reno
We are attempting to tackle two big areas before the winter sets in: the nursery and the library.
Upon removing the wallpaper in the nursery, and letting it sit, it became apparent that the vintage wallpaper was just not in good enough condition to preserve. The plaster behind it was flaking off the wall, and I called it as a DIY project. For a room intended for a baby the various issues were getting beyond my pay grade.
It's been a few weeks of occasionally having workers here scraping the wall and re-plastering. I don't love parenting and homeschooling with strange men coming in and out all day (who don't speak to me. It's weird.) I keep reminding myself how nice it will be to finally have all the rooms upstairs in usable condition!
We finally won the battle of the rusty nails (...by bringing in a handy man who tackled it in 10 minutes...) so we are now picking colors for the library! We found a local carpenter to build shelves that will be stained to match the dark walnut inlays we have in the floor. I'm going for a 1920's study feel to it, that won't feel too dark in the dead of winter. Ideas welcome!
It does get s t r o n g light in the late afternoon, so I'm thinking red would be a little intense. I like the idea of a dark green, but we have used a lot of green in the house so far.
Linking this little life update with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes!
Your life sounds exhausting! Don't let the haters get you down.
ReplyDeleteWhen I start homeschooling (my oldest is 3.5) I will use Explode the Code books. My mom taught 8 kids and only discovered them at the end. She says they are the best. Just a suggestion since you asked.
Good for you for hiring help. yeah, workmen don't talk to their "employers." I think lots of home owners hover and ask questions and nitpick. Or they don't want an inappropriate relationship to develop? Or they are awkward silent men?
It puzzles me how small children let a new tooth ruin their day, but actual illnesses like staph or in many cases a fever are ignored! Make sure your bleach has sodium hypochlorite. I only just learned about some "bleaches" not having it and I feel lied to. Good luck
Oh those look cool (and at an excellent price point). It's worth a shot!
DeleteI think these guys are just awkward silent men. They move in a group and will just come and go with zero communication. Half the time I'm like "Are they done? Does it take all 4 to make a Home Depot run? WHAT IS GOING ON?!"
All About Reading and All About Spelling were game changer for us. Starfall a free computer website is wonderful too. Raz Kids helped with levled reading and pin pointing specific reading weaknesses. It costs $100 but worth each penny.
ReplyDeleteI've heard good things about both All About programs! The sticker shock is hard for me, but if we don't see some change soon it's probably going to be worth swallowing it.
DeleteWhen my (very eager, very early) readers have trouble with blending, I generally just stop and try again in a few weeks/months. She's young enough that I don't think it's a matter of techniques/materials, she's just not developmentally there yet, even if she's desperate to learn! I just let them memorize books and feel like they're "reading" at that point... This year is going to be Peter's year for reading, I think, but he's still not quite 4. My "latest" reader was 4.5, and a year later she was reading the Little House chapter books on her own, so later doesn't necessarily mean anything ;) I'm sure you're not pushing, though!
ReplyDeleteIt's the first grader with the reading struggles! The 4 year old is only getting lessons when she asks for them, and she's still going to start at the beginning of the book again for kindergarten next year.
DeleteI wish it was as simple as waiting and trying again later in his case! We've given that a solid go, but it's really not clicking for him. At 6, and with him having been in a much better place last year, this concerns me.
Ahhh that makes more sense - it was the same paragraph as the preschooler, so I assumed you were still talking about her :)
Delete