There are some changes already happening around here, and it seems only fair to clue y'all in!
1
Monthly evaluation
I do this thing at the end of every month where I think back and decide what worked, what didn't, and what I can change to make all parts of my life better.
It's become more formal lately, and I now have a "What should I be doing?" discernment spread in my bullet journal where I ask myself what has fed me lately and what things have stressed me lately. I use those results to develop a spread called "Make a Change in *x month*"
2
Results
October was personally a hard month where I had to accept that a lot of things weren't working. The things that were working surprised me. I very much enjoyed doing historical research on the house, getting to craft again, and exploring with the kids.
Things that stressed me included: pursuing opportunities that were not actually open to me, lack of rest, and sacrificing time to write blog content and social media that gets minimal interaction.
3
The Changes
I ended up with a list of 16 changes to make in November. Many are small tasks to stop procrastinating about that will lessen my stress level, but there are some big decisions.
4
About Theater
Earlier this week I wrote about the frustrations I've had trying to get established in the theater community here in the Twin Cities. In a sense I feel a bit deceived. Everyone told me how great the theater community was here. How many shows, spaces, companies. That is true - just not for young women.
So I'm taking a break.
A temporary, at least month long, break from the audition circuit heart ache.
A year of throwing myself at that stained brick wall requires a little healing.
5
About this Blog
I realized in the past few months that I was spending a lot of time thinking and writing about topics that were getting seen by fewer and fewer people. There was one day with a total of 6 views. 6. Site wide.
Frankly that isn't worth my time.
So for the month of November I'm only writing when I want to - not to meet a pre-defined posting schedule.
I don't write this blog for the sole exercise of writing. There are bloggers like that, but that's not me. I write for connection. I write to create a jumping off point for discussions and engagement. That's the point for me. I don't want to be shouting into the wind.
6
The Things I Will Be Doing
When I do write it will be because something needs to pour out of my heart and mind. Those pieces seem to resonate well with people, and they get written soooooo much faster than pieces I try and force out. Seems like a win-win.
I love responding to questions or requests! That's part of why I love speaking on panels and doing Q&As. Thinking on my feet is my jam, and probably when you're going to get the most concise answer before this over-thinker over-thinks it.
I will be using the time I would have spent preparing auditions, hunting for opportunities, and writing for prayer instead. I don't just want to release lots of free time, I want to make space for good and for God. Using prayer to fill those holes keeps me from letting busy work seep into that space.
I forgot how much I enjoyed taking my kids places and exploring together. Field trips are planned to be a bigger part of our month (as counter-intuitive as that sounds with a fresh layer of snow and ice out there.) It's something that feeds all of us.
7
I'm Still Open
This is not a Lenten fast from blogging! I'm more than happy to continue to respond to messages and requests. I'll happily write up a post that you would like to have (there's one coming up this month already!). I want to make sure I'm helping you, not adding to your noise.
If by some amazing miracle a theater show or company comes along with an offer for me, I'll probably jump on that opportunity. It's hard not to be pessimistic about the possibility after a year of No, but it could theoretically happen.
While I'll be home a lot more, I also want to be very open for hospitality. Reach out to all those people that have been on my "You're cool and I don't see you enough" list. It's a long list, y'all. Minnesotans are cool people.
Linking up with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes.
I hope you'll stick around!
What kind of things would you like to see me write about? Is there a topic that would feed you right now? Are you making any changes in your life right now?
Blogging really is hard sometimes! I totally understand the frustration and feeling like you're wasting time. I hope the relaxed effort towards blogging will be helpful!
ReplyDeleteMy page views are way down, too, if that makes you feel any better! I think taking a "write what you want, when you want" approach is a good idea, hopefully the interaction you're looking for will come back :)
ReplyDeleteIt does! I've been at this a good while now, and it was probably going to be a time to naturally fall into a more "as needed" kind of flow.
DeleteI'm a regular reader. Your house posts and your responses to the church scandals we're great. I think I enjoy the posts when you get worked up enough that it comes through! So yes, posts from the heart. I do know if you can tell if someone reads your posts through a reader/news feed. I get your posts through Newsblur, but if I comment I have to click through.--MariaE
ReplyDeleteI haven't even heard of that reader! I used to be a regular Google Reader user, but haven't found anything to fill that role yet.
DeleteYou could be right in that impacting some of the numbers.
I'm glad you understood me even though a "not" got left out. :) I like Newsblur because it can be set up so the original graphics of the post show (pretty blog header, etc.) It's the only reader I tried. I only got into reading blogs when I got married, and my techie husband told me about it.--MariaE
DeleteI LOVE the way you do your monthly evaluations!! #goals
ReplyDeleteIt's hard when you've been blogging a long time and you feel like you're losing readers...not because I care about followers but more because I care about the connection like you said. I love the way blogging can connect us all.
I should write about some of those little things more often. The monthly eval has become an important way to create accountability for myself. It's hard to do when it's all on you to be self-motivated in most areas!
DeleteThe connection is where it's at for me! Otherwise I could just keep a private journal for myself and no one would be the wiser. But I want to talk about things with other people, and I care about that feedback.
A monthly evaluation is such a good idea! It makes me think of how, as part of the lay movement my husband and I are in, we're supposed to do a monthly "couple dialogue"-a chance for us to talk with each other and God about His vision for our marriage and family, and develop concrete steps we can take. That kind of stuff is so helpful for bringing about change and improvements!
ReplyDeleteI think it's really interesting to hear about the direction you're taking with the blog. There was a time when I tried to work on a pre-defined blogging schedule, but I also found that the posts which resonated the most with people were ones that I didn't particularly plan (and often were not the most polished). As I've been figuring out life with a toddler and a tiny baby, I'm realizing that not only is it a challenge to get even one post up a week, but it can be difficult for me to make the time to read and comment on the many wonderful blogs that I follow! So, as weird as it may sound, I actually kind of like it when bloggers start posting a little less frequently because it becomes easier for me to keep up with their blog content.
Ok, I'm glad someone else does this too! I have found less frequent posting to be better for me as a reader, yet I had been chasing a twice a week posting schedule for years. Why?!
DeleteKirby, you might not remember me very well because we only spoke once or twice while you were at St. Leo's. But I have been following your blog for more than a year now. I've also gone back to read your previous posts. I just want to encourage you to keep blogging at your own pace and with your own style. If I've been quiet all this time, you most certainly have other readers like me who also choose not to comment or interact. I may not check in every day, but I'm here and I read you.
ReplyDelete