I have been watching a tragedy unfold in the past weeks of this pandemic. It's not just a tragedy due to the virus itself. It's a tragedy of choice. It's one that has revealed an infestation present and hovering beneath the surface of many parishes. The pandemic has rooted it from the unspoken underground and brought it to light.

These past weeks my heart and trust has been broken over and over again by my pastor, parish, community, and many of those I called friend. I can't deny the sickness of pride and the crippling of love that has been unavoidable to notice.

It is not courage to seek loopholes and work arounds to the rules during a pandemic.
It is not faith that seeks the sacraments regardless of the consequences.
This is not a religious persecution issue.
Your enemy is not the rules. We are not up against a typical enemy of war. This is a virus.
A virus does not care about your reason for gathering. Expecting a miracle to prevent the transmission of disease so you can attend an underground mass is both the sin of presumption and an act of disobedience against your rightful bishop, in many cases. You are not demonstrating your devotion to the Eucharist. On the contrary, you are demonstrating a depth of pride and failure of love.

Love desires the good of another. Love does not say the risk of illness and death to yourself and others is an acceptable consequence of your chosen action. Especially when that is a foreseeable consequence.
Love does not choose ignorance. Love does not deny reality. Love is not hard headed.

Yet many of us are receiving a warped version of love and community from our parishes and pastors lately. The adherence to ignorance, and narrow minded focus on one way of being Church, will have consequences well beyond this time of physical sickness.

Our neighbors see us. They see the churches that have refused to comply with rules. That delayed and put off reasonable precautions. They will remember how slow that church was to act when the community was under threat.

The more vulnerable members of the community see us. They will remember how their lives were discussed as not a point of concern. That their health was seen as their own problem that was only getting in the way of other's need for access to the sacraments as they desired.

Don't kid yourself that a parish is justified in it's sins against faith and community merely because of it's adherence to beautiful liturgy and orthodox catechists. Because if I have not love, I have nothing.

"If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing." 
- 1 Corinthians 13: 1-3

There is a phenomenon about the stories of epidemics throughout history. Despite their wide reach and shared experience throughout a population, the first hand stories of the lived experiences of an epidemic are few. It's as though, collectively, human communities have experienced a sense of shame and desire to forget what happened. But, as we should know by now, it's never true that evils disappear as long as they stay unspoken and unacknowledged. They wait. They fester. They come back again.

The only way to break that cycle is to root out the sickness. COVID-19 will end someday. We pray for a treatment, a cure, a vaccine. But there is no medicine that can heal a wounded soul without truth, faith, and love.
My prayer is for parishes to break the cycle of us vs them thinking. For pastors who have made errors in their response to apologize publicly. For members of those parishes to open their eyes and see what has been happening. For an abundance of faith, trust, and love over fear, pride, and ignorance.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
 - John 13:34-35

Acting Boldly - Why We Need It For Healthy Parishes

For the past two weeks I've been doing a new, intense, thing in my Lent - Human Combat Chess!

I'm training for a show that involves playing chess, with human players, and when a space is to be taken there is a stage combat fight. It's wonderful, nerdy, active time - but it's totally out of my comfort zone. It's a lot of improv character work, weapons, and sports. I'm a fan of...sport food.

While I'm a trained dancer, and no stranger to the stage and odd rehearsal spaces, I have no real experience with doing THIS. I didn't know anyone among the 80+ people in the room. We work late, long, and hard, doing stuff that is foreign and potentially dangerous. It's very uncomfortable.

That's why it's so good for me.

The lesson that keeps coming up over and over for me this Lent is that good things don't come from complacency. Not only do we have to come out of our comfort zones to grow and discover - best results come from doing it boldly.

I heard a definition of acting boldly from one of our choreographers and it stuck with me.
Acting boldly does not always mean being loud and aggressive. It means making a choice for yourself, committing to it's follow through, and responding to how that changed the room.

So many lessons to unpack from this one concept! Let's look at what it would mean for our parish family if we were to cultivate acting boldly.

• No more playing it safe, indefinite, answers to commitments. Your yes means yes and your no means no.
• Struggles and mistakes are not only ok, they're expected. 
• Tension is ok. It indicates a turning point.
• It's not enough to come in with our own big ideas, we have to communicate and respond to others.

What I love about the concept of acting boldly is it allows people to work through issues quicker. It circumvents the tendency to "keep sweet" or "play nice" or allow unsaid, unacknowledged, issues to simmer just below the surface. To act boldly means taking risks, it's true, but it allows for a more honest representation of ourselves to others.

Sometimes I think we like talk about having a parish family, but we treat that "family" more like strangers. People we don't really know or trust. People who need to be held at an arms length lest they see us as we are. 

We have to walk our talk. Sometimes we need to learn to talk the walk.

That means opening our eyes to the new people in our midst.

It means having tough conversations.

It means getting a little uncomfortable.

It means letting go of assumptions about what others "might think".

It means living, fully, boldly. 

This does not mean you need to have a full confession of every thought you have ever had to everyone in your parish! But I would be willing to bet we all have areas that we KNOW we have been holding back from approaching. Fears that have been left unchallenged. Walls put up without even thinking to peek on the other side. I'm merely asking us to notice them.

Acting boldly advocates that we practice addressing them. 

If you make mistakes, or even just change your mind, acting boldly lets you move on. Because now you have to own your new choice.

Lessons from the theater!

Where do you see the concept of acting boldly being useful in your life? Have you heard of something like this before? Was it helpful?