Advent is just around the corner, and perhaps the cringy-est liturgical living ghost is about to appear: the Advent Grinch.

I get it. It bothers you that December is filled with Christmas parties, sales, community events, and  movies. Because it is NOT Christmas, and you DON'T want to celebrate it already.
However, it's probably bad for evangelization to put down the secular world trying to participate in a season it vaguely remembers and longs to hold. It seems counterproductive to be against celebrating such an important season, even if it is done a little off time. They're trying.

Instead of making Advent a protest against the secular world celebrating imperfectly, it seems far more charitable to stop policing Advent as a negative and start celebrating it as a positive.

The Little Lent

If you want to make sure your family is clear on the difference between Advent and Christmas, a simple way to start is embracing the penitential aspect of the season. Have you noticed how the liturgical color is purple, the same as during Lent? Advent is a "little Lent", a second preparatory and penitential season. Picking a mortification as individuals or as a family can help focus the season.

This comes with a caveat - your mortification cannot force the mortification of others. It's just unkind and negates the individual discipline of the practice. If you want to give up "going to Christmas parties during Advent" largely because you want a reason to not attend those gatherings, that might need a little more examination. Are you really doing a private mortification to prepare your heart for the coming of Christmas or are you falling into pride? Telling your friend that you aren't attending their party because it's inappropriate to have Christmas parties in Advent is probably going to embarrass your friend and cause harm to that relationship.
You don't have to accept every invitation, but you do have to exercise kindness and charity.


Pick and Choose

Although we are generally able to better accept Lent will look a little different for each of us, we aren't always as generous with variation when it comes to Advent. Instead it's easy to fall into the trap of trying to do ALL THE THINGS. Jesse Tree, Advent wreath, special feast days and the feast days that don't resonate with your family.

 You don't have to do any of it. It's nice, they can make good memories, but if it is causing you to be stretched thin or beat yourself up for forgetting the Jessie Tree again - maybe you're better off simplifying.


It's fine to do what works for you.

The only Advent traditions we do are the ones that have deep meaning for us, we enjoy doing, and that help us orient towards Christmas. For us St. Nicholas, St. Lucia, Ember Days, Advent wreath, and slow decorating make the cut. That's it.

We don't do much of anything for Our Lady of Guadalupe now, we don't do Jessie Tree, hunt for the baby Jesus, or many other fine and dandy traditions. What you do once does not actually mean you are trapped in celebrating in a particular way forever. Extend yourself the grace to grow and change, and it makes it easier to extend that to others.

Lean into the Christmas season.

The single easiest way I have found to not be an Advent Grinch is to make my Christmas season radically different from Advent. We lean way into the Christmas season. The 12 Days of Christmas (Christmas to Epiphany) are both highly celebratory and laid back. We are off from school and outside classes. We make ourselves available to welcome friends and family. I prep freezer meals and cookie dough and do a deep clean during the Ember Days. That leaves me free of lots of household duties during the 12 Days of Christmas.

It doesn't need to be fancy. In fact, it probably shouldn't be fancy.

If you want some ideas for this time, you can check out my 12 lists for the 12 Days of Christmas post.
Haven't heard of these Ember Days I mentioned? Here's a little about them.

Want a breakdown of how to prep during Advent for this truly relaxing (even for mom) 12 Days of Christmas? Check out this post.

When Lent Tests You

You could say I failed Lent this year.
In the sense that I did not achieve what I set out to do in my initial vision.

But by that standard I "fail" in just about everything I attempt.

Lent is a popular practice - even among non-Catholics and non-Christians. There is something about systematically setting aside a time for simplicity, challenge, and trying to be more honestly who we are meant to be, that speaks to a deep longing many of us find within ourselves.

What I find most thrilling about Lent is how much better it gets because of the intentional surrender to God's Will.

I do a give up, a take on, and a pray on.

This year I decided to give up meat as a family, take on fostering intentional community, and praying on healing for victims of abuse.

I thought this would be a Lent of trying new recipes and re-visiting old favorites from when we ate tons of veggies in California. Calling up old friends, and making intentional time to foster new friendships. Spending some time in adoration and dedicating rosaries for abuse victim/survivors.

Then we had a house fire.

Suddenly meatless Lent became about being grateful for any meal that was provided for us.
Intentional community became learning to accept help when it was offered, and being ok with saying yes to letting people into our hard times.
I haven't had those times of extra silent prayer and adoration time. But I talked to The Atlantic about how parents are dealing with the crisis (or, in some cases, not dealing with the crisis), listened to the stories of survivors, and supported those creating future plans for parish and diocese events for furthering healing and understanding.

Nothing about this Lent is something I could have planned. It's not at all what I had planned.

And it's so much better.

Getting back into our house the weekend of Passiontide was both a relief and a burden. We're just so, overwhelmingly, grateful to be home, to still have a home, and to start to get things back to normal. But it's also so painfully obvious how much further we have to go.

The house hadn't been lived in for five weeks. It had been through temperature fluctuations ranging from -18 to 55 degrees. The dust and dirt of winter plus that time of non-habitation plus fire and smoke meant every, single, thing needs attention.

It would be so easy not to deal with it. To pretend that everything is fine and not even start. And suddenly I realized how often we do that with those non-physical aspects of Lent.

How often are there issues in our own lives that are within our grasp to address, but we don't.
Maybe we think it will be too much effort.
Too much demand.
Too much change.
Too overwhelming.

Many of those things we need to address are easy to hide, easy to ignore. Yeah, it's not great to ignore your mental health, overindulge, or entertain destructive thought processes. But it's easy to hide and pretend everything is fine under the hood. We all know that's a bad long term plan, but do we do it? For sure. I do it too.

But it's so much better to deal with it. To get in the dirt and grime, and start to chip away at the hold it has on you.

As we go into Holy Week this year, think about what in your Lent needs a little elbow grease? Where could you push just a little further in these last days of Passiontide? Where could you let grace shine in a little more?

Maybe Don't Diet for Lent

Lent is coming in a matter of days (days!). Which  means "What are you giving up?" is the Catholic conversation starter of choice.

In the past few years I've seen a progression from giving up soda, desserts, or alcohol to giving up whole food groups or taking on highly restrictive diets. While not necessarily a bad practice, and comes with the territory if you are an Eastern rite Catholic, I wonder if this is becoming popular for non-spiritually fruitful reasons.

Often I've heard the argument that using fad restrictive diets is an easy way to challenge yourself and to get information about your body. While Whole 30, Keto, Paleo and whatever else is the hip way to eat in a year from now, may hit the criteria of challenging your food choices, I'm not sure they are useful as a Lenten practice.
Here are some questions to ask yourself before choosing a restrictive diet as your Lenten discipline.

If you're brutally honest, why you want to do this?

It's very easy to fall into the trap of thinking Lent will work like a magic spell. Everything you touch in the name of Lent will work out because it's a holy time! When we think like this, we forget that we are still ourselves. We still come into Lent with our personalities, baggage, struggles, and state of life.

Is your relationship to food something that has been difficult for you for a while?
Do you believe the foods you are cutting out via the diet are "bad" foods?
Did you pick this diet because it's popular in your friend group?

These are all questions that deserve some thought before embarking on this Lent!

Have you struggled with "failing" Lents before?

Do you tend to set your Lenten bar high, and go into deep disappointment when you slip up? Has that happened over and over?

Even though the fasting and abstinence traditions in the Eastern rites look incredibly demanding (and are demanding) that bar is more of a aspiration than it is a base level. Perhaps give yourself some grace this Lent and choose to set your bar high and work up to it. Or make small conscientious choices throughout the day instead of cutting food groups out wholesale.

Consider the weight your mortification will place on others

Perhaps you don't mind subsisting on veggies exclusively, cutting out all added sugars, or having limited protein sources - but is that true for your spouse? Is it reasonable to plan on making multiple dinners? Are your choices going to make it difficult to participate in community events? Thinking about the impact your choices have on others is a big part of being true Church.

Think beyond the food box

Maybe what you seek to rectify is not really about food. Perhaps you are struggling with self-discipline. Or simplicity. Or generosity.

Many of us grew up giving up a food something as a Lenten discipline, and still think of food restrictions as The Way to Lent. But I would like to challenge you to a little more honesty and awareness of your own struggles. Name the underlying struggle you are trying to address.

Last year I realized partway through Lent that I was struggling with procrastination. It didn't look like it, I'm very much a type A over-doer, but I was procrastinating never the less.
Phone calls would get carried over on my to do list for weeks.
Prayer time was something I would get to "later".
I would avoid rest by finding just one more chore to do.
Choosing to be aware of my underlying struggle made for a fruitful Lent that didn't leave me feeling like a failure for my slip ups!

Have you ever done a restrictive diet for Lent? What were your reasons? Did it make for a fruitful Lent? What did you learn?

What's Your Liturgical Living Style?

I've been documenting a bit of how I do Advent and Christmas over the past few weeks. But it's occurred to me that there are particular styles to living liturgically. Figuring out what style resonates with you is phenomenally helpful for liturgical living success! Here's a few of the basic styles:

The Food liturgical living person

This person likely either cooks at home most of the time, or generally likes to cook. Meal planning may or may not be their strong point, but they can totally handle throwing a dessert together with a week to a couple days notice! Likely enjoys browsing Pinterest for new recipes to try out. It helps to be an adventurous eater!

The Crafty liturgical living person

This person finds happiness in creating with their hands. May have a stash of various craft supplies, or just rescued recycling scraps waiting to be made into something marvelous. Experience with crafting techniques will vary, but enthusiasm for the attempt is a given. Likely enjoys adult coloring books.

The Bookish liturgical living person

This person has a book for every possible situation. This style will range from the Children's Literature enthusiast, to the Tolkein nerd, to Poetry lovers. Saints days, for the bookish style,  are best celebrated by being curled up with a cozy blanket and enjoying the words or stories that belong to that feast.

The Party Throwing liturgical living person

This person sees changes in the liturgical year, or any given feast day, as an excellent excuse to throw a party! Large or small, cocktail party or play date. Doesn't matter, they will be there! And will likely host. This person is probably an extrovert, but there will be the odd introvert among these party throwing liturgical livers.

Bonus Categories!
There are some life situations that will impact how your liturgical living style manifests in practice.

The Parenting liturgical living person

This is the person with the most available resources for their liturgical living (let's be real.) While this person has the needs and preferences of a tiny army to factor in, kids make the joy and wonder aspect of liturgical living easy and accessible.

The Single liturgical living person

This person has to wade through the flood of liturgical living resources that assume you are trying to celebrate with, and for, small children. However, the feasts and fasts are meant for everyone in the Church! It helps to join forces with a group of friends to do at least some celebrations in community. Own your tradition and allow for others to join in! You might find that celebrating with another family, a local religious order, or your roommates make for some wonderful experiences.

The Convert liturgical living person

This person may be brand new to Catholicism, Christianity, or religion in general. They may be suffering from convert fever ("Do. All. The. Things!") or from convert overwhelm ("Please don't let there be one more thing to add on my plate, sweet Jesus!") The beautiful thing about the liturgical year? It always comes back around! This isn't set in stone. You will live if you miss a feast day.
Little secret from a cradle Catholic? *whispers* No celebrates all of the feasts! Really.
Pick a thing, see styles above to get an idea of what is a good thing to start with for you, and just try it out!

Linking up with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes!

Which of these styles is you? Are there any I forgot? What are some other categories that impact how someone celebrates the liturgical year?

The Mom's Side of Tips and Tricks for a Relaxed Christmastide

Last week I shared my December liturgical year calendar that I am using with my kids this year. But how to make those celebrations and traditions happen without feeling frazzled, stressed, and resentful? Here's what works for me!

Start with your easy thing

Everyone has their go to first thing when starting a new tradition. It typically falls along the lines of food, craft, activity, book.
I am a food person. I will almost always start a new celebration with food. Crafts will typically fall last in that list of things to add to celebrations for me. My ranking would probably go: food, activity, book, song, craft. I have learned this about myself and I take it into account when considering how to celebrate a particular feast, liturgical season, or other holiday. It puts my chances of success in a good place if I start with something I will probably enjoy!

Write it down

I'm a big believer in lists and charts, but even if you are a free form essay or graphic doodler kind of person, you should write down your ideas! Write down your plans, write down what worked and what didn't, write down what you want to change.
Nothing happens without a plan - you just need to figure out your best method of planning.

I start with free form lists. Lists of holidays, things to cook, movies to watch, books to read, activities to choose from - whatever I might want to consider for inclusion in our celebrations.

Then I map it out on a calendar. I see when each holiday falls, I write in when I would want to make different things, and I make sure I've left myself enough time to only have 1-2 extra things a day (max) to do. I prefer to have scheduled day to-dos instead of a giant list of holiday to-dos.

I make a log so I can jot down what we do each of the days, and review the results in free form after the holiday season. Then I close the book and move on. Don't dwell too hard on anything that didn't go as you envisioned!

Baking week

I started doing this last year, and I loved it! It let me get all of the massive baking done for a church fundraiser AND stock the freezer with cookie dough for Christmastide. Win!
The big secret is I take an entire week to do my baking. It's a process. That's what makes it work well.

Monday - I mix the dry ingredients for each cookie type and put it in a labeled gallon baggie.

Tuesday - Begin mixing the wet ingredients into 2-3 of the types. Split in half. Wrap each half in plastic wrap, stack, and place back in the baggie that it was in for dry ingredients, place in the fridge.

Wednesday - Mix the remaining cookie types into dough. Bake half of the dough from the types that chilled overnight in the fridge. The unbaked half of the dough gets left in it's labeled gallon baggie and put in the freezer for Christmastide.

Thursday - Bake the cookie types mixed on Wednesday. Save those halves of the dough in the freezer.

Friday - Deliver cookies. Enjoy that my dough mixing is done before December!

I can make a massive amount of cookies with this method with minimal stress.
I highly recommend figuring out how much of each ingredient you will need and stocking up in November. The sales are great right now for baking!

Work earlier than you think is necessary

That baking week? It's done the last week of November. That seems crazy early, but I have learned it is almost always better to work earlier rather than later if your goal is a relaxed Advent.

Outsource 

That baking that I do the night before the holiday? The St. Lucia buns and St. Nicholas day cinnamon rolls? Those are homemade, but I don't do most of the work. I use the bread machine to do most of it. Most of our favorite foods during this holiday season are things I can dump in a crockpot. If I didn't enjoy doing the cooking and baking I would probably just buy the roll from the store.

My husband does all of the grocery shopping, and most of the meal planning.

My kids help me with a lot of the Ember Days cleaning tasks.

I buy a lot of gifts off Etsy and Amazon, and make sure to include the cost of my time when considering if I should make something, buy it, or do without it.

Use technology and the gifts of others when offered. No one wants a frazzled mom for Christmas. They just want you.

Aim for free and use what you have

You know what my official craft is on Christmas? Cutting up our wrapping paper that just came off of gifts and making a giant wrapping paper chain. It's a cheap, re-use, project and provides for fun decorations through to Epiphany.

We wrap up 12 Christmas books, that we already own, every year. One gets unwrapped on each of the 12 Days of Christmas.

Look around your home and see what could become a tradition out of things you already have. That means you can have traditions that don't require extra shopping, and may even save you time and effort!

Make the journey the experience

We do a little bit one day and wait.
A little bit another day and wait.
That waiting is part of the beauty of Advent, and I think it's the true secret to a low stress Advent and restful Christmas season.

How do you keep your Advent low stress and Christmas restful? Do you do any of these tips or is it something radically different in your home? What are you changing this year?

Ember Day Plans - Fall 2018

The Fall Ember Days begin tomorrow! (Can you tell I'm excited?!) I love these quarterly days of fasting and prayer.  To give you some ideas of how to observe, I thought I would share my plans for this Ember Week!

Physical

Preparing my heart for the work of a new season means tackling the physical spaces I would rather ignore, or have already procrastinated on handling. This week it's prepping the library for painting, and cleaning out the grease trap over the stove.

I also do a lot of the less frequent type of cleaning this week: vacuuming the porch, cleaning out the car, doing a quick purge in each room, switching over clothes for the new season, etc. 

Realistically, not everything I try to do will happen, but I will have forced myself to do what is asked of me and that is a valuable practice in and of itself.

Spiritual

Confession is always the number one practice for spiritual clean out that I try to make happen during the Ember Days. 

This season I'm also re-committing to praying the Liturgy of the Hours for the readings, morning, and evening prayers. During a parish town hall this past weekend on the abuse crisis, our pastor said something that made me pause. He noted that most priests who became abusers started neglecting their promise to pray this common prayer of the Church first. Being negligent in small things was the first step down that evil road. For the healing and intentions of abuse survivors, I am dedicating these prayers that should have been faithfully prayed in the first place.

Fasting

I'm a fan of the two prong fasting approach. On these Ember Days I will be following a traditional fast (nothing but liquids during the day) and fasting from social media scrolling. 

To do the spiritual and physical clean out, I need time. When I looked at my time spent, my greatest amount of truly wasted time was scrolling on social media. The amount of that that turned into legitimate connection and communication with others was tiny, and could have been easily found without the scrolling.

Connection

Living through, and within, this crisis in the Church has made it very clear to me that this is also a crisis of community. Of connection. Of remembering to care about others as loved Children of God. These Ember Days I am making a special effort to connection with my children, with my spouse, with members of my parish, Catholics beyond my parish, and others I may have met but have not gotten to know yet. 

I don't know exactly what that's going to look like, but I've found that making a conscious effort to be open to the Holy Spirit tends to create what needs to be.

How are you observing these Ember Days? Will this be your first time?

My Top 7 Holy Week Traditions

Happy Holy Week! I rounded up some of my favorites of our Holy Week traditions.

Cleaning!

We spend the first few days of Holy Week cleaning out! I make a point to get to those tasks that I tend to put off, like scrubbing the bathtub and scouring the stove.

The past few Ember Days I have included sorting through wardrobes to make sure everything in there fits, is in good condition, and is something I like. I used to use the Holy Week clean out as the time to switch over clothing from winter to summer, but now that we live in Minnesota it's more of making sure things fit and aren't terribly stained or ripped while I dream of future summer. Still a good time to do any hand-me-down passing!

Thematic Movies

After all the cleaning, it's nice to have some family time with a movie!bh
Prince of Egypt is my go-to for Holy Thursday. The story of Passover is intimately tied to the story of the Passion! We've done just a CCC saint movie for the remaining days, but now that my kids are getting a little older I'm thinking of adding another full length movie to our tradition list. Suggestions welcome!

Flavors of Seder Dinner

I've struggled with what to call this Holy Thursday dinner. Because it's NOT a Seder and Catholics really shouldn't have those (this is a good take on why), but it does hearken to the flavors and memory of a Seder. Here's our typical menu:

Roasted Leg of Lamb
Horseradish Potato Gratin
Herb salad
Matza
Red Wine

We might read the Passover story from Exodus, but there's no attempt at the traditional prayers or ritual of a Seder.

Visiting the empty church

Some time between the Mass of the Lord's Supper and the Easter Vigil, I like to take the kids to the church so they can see how the tabernacle is empty and the altar bare. It really drives home to them what these few days of the Passion are so different from the rest of the year, and why Easter is so exciting!

Quiet Good Friday

Good Friday is typically the only day I might have off from singing in a week of heavy choir duties. Thus Good Friday is a day when I tend to keep us home and the day a little calmer. We especially try to observe the time between noon and 3pm in quiet. That is helped by most of that time falling during regular naps, but some backup plans are needed.

Good Friday is the one day of the year when the books and activities normally reserved for mass only are allowed to be used at home. I pull all the mass things, pewter saints statues, kid rosaries, and other items that normally have to be used with mom into a special Good Friday Holy Hour Basket and I light a taper candle on the mantel at noon. I tell the kids once they are up from nap that they are welcome to look at things in the basket while the vigil candle is burning on the mantle. The candle stays lit until 3pm. We normally pray a rosary and I might turn on some chant or sacred music.

The effort is well worth it!

Good Friday Fish Fry

I'm from Texas and Fish Fry is the most perfect way to break a fast! Preferably with a fish fry that includes lemon pepper catfish and hush puppies.

Confetti Eggs

On Holy Saturday we dye eggs! If you have not experienced confetti eggs, you are missing out.
I tried to find an easy link for how to make these, but all of them were more complicated than necessary! Here's the quick version:

- Use a butter knife to tap the end of an egg. Make a hole about the size of a nickle in the end of the egg. Use egg contents normally. Rinse, and dry the egg in an egg carton.
- Dye as you would hard boiled eggs. I use the warm apple cider vinegar-water-food dye method.
- Once dry, stuff with small paper confetti
- Cover the hole with a small piece of tissue paper dredged through a mixture of water and Elmer's glue. Let dry.

We hide them and the kids gather them, just like regular Easter eggs, but THEN we re-distribute them equally among kids and adults, count to three, crunch them in hands.....and fling confetti! Preferably on as many people as possible. It's magical! And biodegradable.

What are your favorite Holy Week traditions? Are you trying anything new this year?

My Top 7 Lenten Misconceptions

Lent starts this week! There are certain, perennial, discussions and questions that come up at this time every year. I thought it was high time that I addressed the top 7 that I heard this past week with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes!

1. You can’t have chicken/beef stock on a Lenten Friday

I get where the thought is coming from - if we can't eat red meat then we shouldn't eat a product of the carcass - but it's still wrong. Yes, you can eat bone broths on days of abstinence.

Canon law only considers meat to be the flesh of animals that live on land. Moral theologians have taught that we should abstain from all animal products that bear the taste of meat, but this is not required by canon law.
In short - use veggie stock if you want, but it does not break the abstinence observance if you use a bone broth.

2. Ash Wednesday is a Holy Day of Obligation

It's perhaps the best misconception, but it's still a misconception.
Attendance at mass is not obligatory for Ash Wednesday. But it's still GOOD if you go! It's awesome to see people come out of the woodwork to receive ashes. Do it anyway and bear your ashes as an outward sign, but it's not a sin if you don't make it to mass that day.

3. You have to give up something for Lent

"What are you giving up for Lent?" is the official Catholic party question right now, but there is no requirement to give up something. The only disciplines we are required to observe during Lent are prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.

It's awesome to fast from something that is keeping you in a habit of sin, and that is what you are intended to be giving up. It's not supposed to be a way to crash diet or be a chance to let scrupulosity run wild. If your observance of the Lenten fast is a simple focus on your habitual sins, and breaking their cycle, you have fulfilled the discipline beautifully.

4. The great “can you have what you gave up for Lent on Sunday” debate

We all know Lent is 40 days long, yet there are 46 calendar days in the Lenten season. Because every Sunday is a solemnity, they are not included in the fast of Lent. We are not to fast on a feast day, however the question of allowing indulgence in what you are fasting from for the Lenten season on Sundays needs to be taken with prudence.

If you are fasting from something that is morally neutral, let's say alcohol when you're not an alcoholic, then I would argue (from my non-ordained lay person position mind you) that having a glass of wine at dinner with family on Sunday would be acceptable.

If you are fasting from a habitual sin, let's say masturbation, then the fact that it's a feast day does not negate your Lenten fast. You are not just giving this up because it is Lent, you are giving it up because you are trying to break the chains of habitual sin. That is better served by consistency.

If you want more guidance on this, I strongly encourage you to talk to your priest or spiritual adviser.

5. Giving to the church is my almsgiving

You drop something in the collection basket every week, so it's super easy to fulfill the almsgiving part of Lent, right? Yet tithing is not almsgiving.
Tithing is something we give because it is owed. We owe a portion of our resources to the church that sustains our communal life. It is a debt we are paying.
Almsgiving is material help we give to others out of charity. This is freely given, not paying a debt.

6. You have to eat fish on Fridays

While all Catholics, 14 and older, are required to abstain from meat on days of abstinence, no one says you have to do so by eating fish instead!
A simple vegetarian meal or meatless soup are perfectly fine.

In addition, while they incur no sin by eating meat on days of abstinence, it's awesome to practice giving up meat as children. I find it fantastically easier to observe the day as a family if I just make a big pot of soup and some bread.

7. Lent ends on Easter

It does not end on Easter!
Holy Thursday through Holy Saturday is a funky time in the liturgical year where those three calendar days are one liturgical day. The Triduum (Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday) is neither in Lent nor Easter - it is a separate liturgical period as clarified by Pope Pius XII in 1955.

Thus, technically speaking, Lent ends on Holy Thursday.
Do you continue to observe your Lenten discipline through the Triduum? Up to you to discern. Hopefully your Lenten discipline has become ingrained into you, and becomes a lifelong change if you gave up a habitual sin. If I gave up a moral neutral, then I personally prefer wait until after the Easter Vigil to partake. It seems to add to the joy, don't you think?

Did I miss anything? Was any of this surprising to you?

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Updated to include My Sunday Best with Rosie at A Blog For My Mom.

She's very concerned to see Mommy holding that other baby in the picture.

We've reached that point in the winter when I'm done with seeing my summer dresses sit in my closet. Solution: add leggings and wool socks underneath, and a ballet warm up on top. Boom summer dress is winter wearable!

7 Lists for Your 12 Days of Christmas and Beyond

So you want to celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas this year, but what do you DO that whole time? Here's my lists of 12 cookies/sweets, Christmas movies and songs, beverages for the grown ups, outings, my winter reading list, and my top 12 one-pot or crockpot dishes from the past year.

12 Cookies/Sweet Treats

Chocolate Chip Cookies
Snickerdoodles
Sugar Cookies
Peanut Butter Blossoms
Gingerbread
Chocolate Crinkles
Mock Peanut Brittle
Rice Crispy Treats
Christmas Fudge
German Chocolate Cheesecake
Mug Cakes
Kings Cake Coffee Cake

12 Christmas Movies

Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer - the 1964 one
White Christmas
It’s a Wonderful Life
Charlie Brown Christmas
Frosty the Snowman - 1969 version. Go nostalgic or go home.
The Santa Clause
The Polar Express
Meet Me in St. Louis - It has a classic Christmas song in it sung by Judy Garland! It counts!
Mickey’s Christmas Carol
Miracle on 34th Street
Holiday Inn
A Christmas Story - This is my husband's favorite Christmas movie. It's far from mine, but I love my husband so it gets to live on my list.

12 Adult Beverages

Something important to know about me, if you want to bond over Vodka, fruity drinks, or anything alcoholic that does not taste alcoholic....it ain't happening. Sorry.
All of the recommendations to follow involve Bourbon, Whiskey, Ale, Coffee, and other hallmarks of a, slightly hipster, old Irish man.

Christmas Old Fashioned - or just a regular Old Fashioned, but it's fun to be festive.
Irish Coffee
Hot Buttered Bourbon
Mulled Wine - I'll probably make this recipe, plus the article includes lots of other warm drinks (not necessarily alcoholic) to make in your slow cooker.
Maple Manhattan
Revolver - my twist on this is to use regular bitters and slightly burn the orange peel before putting it in the drink. Gives it a nice, smokey, orange flavor.
Hot Toddy
Negroni
Bourbon Sidecar
Salted Caramel Eggnog 
Kahlua Hot Chocolate
Christmas Ale- my ideal plan would be to get a growler of Christmas ale, or stout, from a local brewery, but I'll likely end up buying a pack of Anchor Steam's Christmas Ale. It's consistently delicious!

12 Out and About Adventures

Winter hike
Art Museum
Winter or Christmas Festival
History Museum
Historical Home
Drive to look at Christmas lights
Try a new resturant
Ice Fishing
New Library or Bookstore
Zoo or Aquarium
Snowshoeing
Sports Game or Theater show

12 Christmas Songs

Music is a big part of our day. (If you're singing, you're not fighting! Generally!) Here are some of the Christmas songs and carols I'll be doing with the kids during the 12 days of Christmas. Some are musically simple and some are a little more challenging.

O Come, O Come Emmanuel (Yes, I know it's an Advent song, but it's pretty and the kids have spent the past month learning it in English and Latin, so it's an achievable option!)
Jingle Bells
We Wish You a Merry Christmas
Silent Night
O Christmas Tree
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Hark the Harold
Away in a Manger
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Here We Come A-wassailing
12 Days of Christmas
The First Noel

12 Books on My Winter Reading List

I'm an eclectic reader, but you can generally bet I'll have a good amount of non-fiction, an autobiography, and a smattering of fiction on my list. It's a mix of heavy and light, heady and quick.

Super Girls and Halos by Maria Morera Johnson
Keeping Christmas: Yuletide Traditions in Norway and the New Land by Kathleen Stokker
Lessons in Hope: My Unexpected Life with St. John Paul II by George Wigel
Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters by Erica Komisar
On Pilgrimage by Dorthy Day
Strangers and Sojourners by Michael D. O'Brian
The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene
Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
Vibrant Paradoxes: The Both/And of Catholicism by Robert Barron
Getting Past Perfect: How to Find Grace and Joy in the Messiness of Motherhood by Kate Wicker
Haystack Full of Needles: A Catholic Home Educator's Guide to Socialization by Alice Gunther
The Book of Margery Kempe by Margery Kempe

12 Warming Dishes

I collected my top 12 one pot/pan/skillet or crockpot dishes that I tested out this year. No cold recommendations here!

One Pot Creamy Parmesan Garlic Risotto with Lemon Pepper Chicken
One-Pan Maple-Dijon Chicken with Winter Veggies
Slow Cooker Pasta E Fagioli Soup
Crock Pot Loaded Baked Potato Soup
Skillet Shepard's Pie
One-Pan Chicken Thighs with Cilantro-Lime Black Bean Rice
Slow Cooker Chicken Tikka Marsala
One Skillet Thai Chicken Thighs + Noodles
Slow Cooker Guinness Beef Stew
Crock Pot Chicken Pho
Slow Cooker Chicken Tortilla Soup
Slow Cooker "Rotisserie" Chicken - (This is what I use before I make chicken stock. It's delicious! And cheap! Instructions for that in this post.)



It should be noted that I am only planning on completing the first 3 lists during the 12 Days of Christmas. The rest are take-as-you-will ideas for the 12 Days. This is supposed to be fun, not stressful!

For details on how we make 12 days of celebration possible, see this post

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The Advent Game Plan to Celebrating the 12 Days of Christmas

Updated to link up with This Ain't the Lyceum.

For the first time ever our little family is not traveling during the Christmas season. This gives us a prime opportunity to really embrace our own 12 Days of Christmas! There will be baked treats, Christmas movie extravaganza, and Winter adventures.

There are some basic rules:

• No school or extraneous work
• Prioritize time with friends and family
• Keep the chores to a minimum 

That means I spend my Advent preparing for Christmas in a very literal sense. If mom wants a break for 12 days, there is some prep required! Here's what we do.

Stock the freezer

One of my plans is to have a different cookie or treat every day of the 12 days of Christmas. In order to make that happen, I make a double batch of dough, bake up half for our parish's fundraiser, and freeze the rest of the dough for the Christmas season. Five varieties are done that way so far!

If you wanted, you could stock some freezer meals that could be easily heated up or dumped in the crockpot to minimize your kitchen time during the 12 days.

Deep clean during the Ember Days

Everyone likes to spend time in a clean space, and the Ember Days provides the opportunity to physically prepare your home for Christmas. I do tasks, like scouring the stove and bathtub, that I'm likely to put off doing. 

Everyone pitches in. It's a good time for the kids to go through their things and decide if there are clothes or toys that can be given away or perhaps don't even fit. Even the toddlers can use a rag with vinegar and water to wipe down low windows and dust under tables.

This year, Ember Days fall on December 20, 22, and 23. You can read more about the Ember Days (they come around four times a year!) in this post.

Invite others in

Part of why we bother with a through Advent cleaning is so that it is easy to bring hospitality into our 12 Days observance! You might choose to host an open house, a white elephant exchange, a playdate, or feast day party. If you want to do something big, consider letting people know about it now before the Christmas burnout sets in.

Dream Big

I'm a list person so I am making a list of  12 things to do out, 12 things to do at home, 12 Christmas movies and 12 low energy family ideas. Pinterest is a useful starting place!

But also with a backup plan

We will NOT be completing everything on the lists! On purpose.

This is a marathon celebration and building in flexibility and adaptable ideas are necessary.

Living in Minnesota means there is a good possibility of inclement weather, sub-zero temps, difficulty driving, etc. I am making my lists with the hope that we can do things out, like visit the art museum, but allowing the possibility we may be housebound and reliant on Amazon Prime.

Maybe we just won't FEEL like going out either. Maybe we'd rather roast marshmallows in the fireplace or play a board game. That counts!

Wrap Christmas books

We will be wrapping up 12 Christmas books and numbering them to unwrap one on each of the 12 days. 

These are not all new books! Just wrap books you already have. It's childhood magic!

I saw Rosie at A Blog for My Mom to do this last year and got inspired! She has a great post on Christmas and Advent reads for the 6 and under crowd.

Don't Forget the Adults!

The 12 Days of Christmas are not just for kids! I'm planning some things just for my husband and I. If it's not already planned, it's too easy to just focus on the kids and not feed out relationship too. 

Warm cocktails to try, at home date ideas, and an out of the house date planned.

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If I get ambitious, I'll make Pinterest boards (and maybe get around to updating pinterest :P) with some of the ideas we're planning.

What are you doing for the 12 Days? Do any of your plans need Advent time prep?

Advent - Contain Your Excitement

Advent is coming! Now that we live in the Great White North it is very tempting to deck the halls with Christmas joy right when December 1st hits.

But we wait.

Advent is a season in of itself and it's worth the wait to let Advent do its work. Here's what we do before the joyous day of Christmas arrives!

Advent Wreath and Advent Decorating

On the first Sunday of Advent we put up our Advent wreath, greenery decorations, lights, and hang stockings.

This will be our first year getting a full size Christmas tree! While we'll probably get the tree in early December, I like the idea of not decorating it with ornaments until Gaudete Sunday. The Advent and Christmas seasons are a marathon - best to pace ourselves!

St. Nicholas (December 6th)

Our first Big Deal feast of Winter!
I grew up with the German style tradition of St. Nick filling stockings instead of shoes. I have a whole post on what we put in those stockings and how we celebrate the day.

St. Lucia (December 13th)

Like all good 90s girls, I was introduced to St. Lucia celebrations via American Girl books. This year Therese is finally big enough to play St. Lucia so maybe we'll add in more of the procession this year! Here's what the celebrations looked like last year.

Marian Feasts - Our Lady of Guadalupe (December 12th) and Immaculate Conception (December 8th)

There might be a lot of feasts in the month of December, but it would never do to forget mother Mary! I don't do anything too big for these feasts, but they are still celebrated.

Our Lady of Guadalupe is patroness of the pro-life movement. We watch the CCC Juan Diego movie and offer a rosary for life.

Immaculate Conception is actually for the conception of Mary, not the conception of Jesus (common mistake). It's also the patron feast day for the United States, and a solemnity. So get thee to mass, pray for the country, and have some sort of white dessert. Boom. Celebrated!

Ember Days - Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday of the 3rd Week of Advent

Those final days of preparation before settling into the welcoming of Christmas! I love Ember Days, but if you've never heard of them you're in good company. They are 3 days toward the beginning of each liturgical season set aside for fasting and prayer and to "to thank God for the gifts of nature, to teach men to make use of them in moderation, and to assist the needy." It contains the cleaning and preparing and forces me to stop and enjoy the fruits of our preparations! Read more about them here.

The beauty of letting Advent be Advent is we get to go all out through the whole Christmas season! This is the first year we will not be traveling to family for Christmas, and I'm planning an epic 12 day celebration. More on that later!

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Want more ideas? Check out other Advent posts on this month's CWBN Blog Hop!

A Quick St. Nicholas Gift Guide

St. Nicholas Day is on the horizon!

In our house St. Nicholas is the first Big Deal Feast of winter. We put up our stockings on the First Sunday of Advent and await the arrival of St. Nick on December 6th.

But what to put in those stockings? Here are the three things I normally include:

1. "Fancy" Band-aids
2. Chocolate
3. Small toy/game

Yes, I give my kids band-aids as a present. You should see the excitement caused by Disney Princess band-aids!
The kids can use the band-aids however they want, provided they only go on their own bodies. Not in your sister's hair, on the walls, floors, or as "armor" on the baby's arm. (I have reasons for my rules. So many good reasons.)

Sometimes I get chocolate coins, but I find the toddlers give up trying to peel them and just end up eating the foil. Now I mostly get really cheap Halloween candy.

We've done waterpaint books, an Uno game, mini-puzzles, and small balls as the toy gift. Normally these come from the dollar store or the clearance section and they have always been a hit.

Now that my kids are getting older, and there are more of them, I like the idea of having a larger shared gift.

My little kids LOVE their My Little Church Magnet Playset from Wee Believers. They are only allowed to play with it during mass, provided they take turns nicely. This will entertain a preschooler through most of a homily!

For older kids, I love this Magi Ornament Sewing Kit. The ornaments could be put to use as the traveling Wise Men for the 12 Days of Christmas or just hung on the Christmas tree.

This My Pop-Out Nativity would make for a good first Nativity scene if you are short on space.

If you want to use any of these ideas, Wee Believers sent me a discount code for you to use! KIRBY30 will get you 30% off your entire order.

I pop Overnight Cinnamon Rolls into the oven when we wake up, and they are normally about ready for icing by the time everyone has finished exploring the contents of their stockings. Later in the day we'll read books on St. Nicholas and watch the CCC movie Nicholas: The Boy Who Became Santa.

Simple enough of a celebration to fit into a school/work day, but special enough to stand out for the kids. The magical happy place of liturgical living!

How do you celebrate St. Nicholas Day? Is it a big deal in your house?

Ember Days - The Best Part of the Liturgical Year You Never Knew Existed

Linking up with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes!

Happy Ember Friday! Have you never heard of Ember Days? You are in good company. They are not a part of Catholic culture that is in widespread usage. But they could be and I think they should be! 

Here's the low down on Ember Days and why they are the best part of the liturgical year you never knew existed.

1

What are Ember Days?

Essentially, they are 3 days, toward the beginning of each liturgical season, set aside for fasting and prayer and to "to thank God for the gifts of nature, to teach men to make use of them in moderation, and to assist the needy" (New Advent). 

They are very ancient practice in the Catholic Church and established somewhere between the Apostolic age and the 5th Century.

2

When are Ember Days?

They are the Wednesday, Friday, Saturday following:

Ash Wednesday

Pentecost

Feast of the Holy Cross

St. Lucia Day

That roughly works out to a set of Ember Days in each Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter.

So why are they awesome?

3

They are a Liturgical Reset Button

Each of those days are timed toward the beginning of a season, but are typically within the second or third week of a new season. That means they come right at the point when all of your lofty ideals have come tumbling down.

Maybe you are already overwhelmed by all of the prayer options for Lent. 

Maybe you really wanted to focus more on family this Advent but family time has yet to happen.

Maybe you are in a September spiritual slump.

Each of those Ember Days come at a time when you could probably do with slowing down, re-focusing, and re-evaluating.

4

They are the Main Reason I Have a Clean House

Lemme tell y'all a secret....I don't clean all that often. I tidy. I pick up. I wipe down the kitchen counters and bathroom surfaces (or as I call them the "high consequence areas"). 

But stuff like scouring the bathtub, dusting, sweeping into corners? Yeah....that happens about four times a year for sure. Ember Days!

When the Ember Days roll around, I make sure I set aside time to hit all of those tasks. It makes sense to me to clean out my physical house while I am cleaning spiritual house. 

Because the Ember Days come around just before the part of that liturgical season that involves hosting parities, the house is then cleaned and ready for festivities! So much to love!

5

They are a Reminder To Pray While We Work

Because I am normally cleaning during my Ember Days, I have to pray while working by necessity if the prayer part is going to happen. 

I have found that to be a huge blessing! Doing the externals of making myself do the tasks I do not enjoy doing, while holding mental intentions and prayers for other people is very humbling. It is an excellent reminder that my work is not about me.

6

They Are Something The Kids Can Understand

Ember Days are very much an external practice that has a big internal effect. The whole experience is full of stuff the kids can latch onto: praying for people they care about, helping clean out under their beds, making decisions about what clothes don't fit them anymore, etc.

I find that the Ember Days happen often enough for even my little kids to remember the last time they came around. That means they are a convenient way to jump start a family culture centered around the liturgical year.

7

That Thursday Rest Day is Genius

At first I thought it was odd to schedule the days Wednesday then Friday and Saturday. Why not just go full steam ahead? But I have decided that the Church was wise to make it that way.

Because that Wednesday is probably going to be a little rough as I make myself get moving and get my family back on board.

Because there might be other weekday stuff that, by necessity, should get done.

Because having one of the days fall on the weekend greatly increases the likelihood this might be a whole family endeavor.

Are you observing the Ember Days? Is this the first time you have heard of  them? Going to give it a shot?

Cleaning Out to Be a Better Disciple - The Lent Plan 2017

Hello everybody! We just got back Sunday night from a whirlwind house finding trip in Minneapolis and I think we found a house! More on that later as we make our housing decisions official.

Since we're planning on moving right after Easter, I'm working the moving preparations into my Lent. I started doing that because that was a logistical reality of our moving timing, but I like how the mindset that we need to be ready to go where ever we are called has changed how I'm approaching this Lent.

I am still doing the three prong take on, give up, and pray on focuses that I have used in past years, but I feel like this year has become a little more disciple-like - preparing myself, body and soul, to pick up and go.

Here's the plan!

Take On and Give Up

These two things go together this year. I'm taking on the 40 Bags in 40 Days Challenge and giving up all of the clutter I have been holding onto. Some of those are sentimental things that I cannot justify holding onto, cleaners I have been saving just in case I need them, craft supplies I have never used after storing them for nearly a decade, etc.

I made a very structured plan for myself to keep myself on track. You can check out my themed, color coded, display-of-type-A-gone-crazy plan on this post.

The 40 Bags idea is not just about physical clutter, but also has to do with digital, emotional, and spiritual clutter. Having a focused time on addressing that ignored baggage sounds like just the ticket for preparing to start anew.

I will be taking off Sundays and other feast days that would normally be exempted from the Lenten fast. The feasts make the fasts all the more meaningful!

Pray On

Since there is so much going on, and lots and lots of life changing decisions to make in the coming months, I am going to be focused on discernment this Lent. Setting aside particular time for 10 minute listening, 10 minute free write, and a dedicated rosary everyday.

When I know I have logistical discernment to do, I like to include the writing aspect so I can see how my thinking changes and what ideas and thoughts popped up.

Endow

I decided to run one last Endow study at my parish before we move. We will be working through the Aquinas Part 2 study that focuses on understanding the theological and moral virtues and applying them to our own lives as women in the world.

Because we are meeting most of the Fridays of Lent, I wanted to make this session a little more retreat-like. We are lucky enough to be able to use the former parish convent space which contains a BEAUTIFUL chapel. Our deacon has agreed to expose the Eucharist for us during the half hour prior to the meeting. So we get a half hour of adoration, a great study to feed our intellect and grow our understanding of faith, and some tea and fellowship time with other Catholic women every Friday for the 8 week session.

We start next week! There are still a few slots - if you are in the Berkeley, CA area, send me an email if you wish to join us.

This post is part of the CWBN Blog Hop with #HowILent theme! Check out the hop to reader how other Catholic women are doing Lent this year.

How are you planning your Lent this year? Do you do take on, give up, pray on?

St. Lucia Day 2016

Happy St. Lucia Day everyone!

This year we're having a very Swedish inspired St. Lucia day. Since I had Ballet commitments in the morning, and Theater in the evening, everything had to be relatively simple and easy. Here's the plan!

Saffron Buns!

This is probably the only recipe I do all year that uses Saffron, but it's worth it. I used this recipe this year. It has you grind the saffron in a mortar and pestle first and have it sit in the hot milk for 15 minutes. I think this really helped bump up the yellow color in the buns, which helps make it fun and different for the kids.

Books

Since John has been so very into chapter books lately, we're doing a longer book today. It's a blast from my past doing Kirsten's Surprise: A Christmas Story.

It covers the Swedish traditions associated with St. Lucia, while still being in the same vain as the Little House books that John currently loves so much.

We're also doing the story of the real St. Lucy from this book.

St. Lucia Wreath and Procession

I got my wreath from American Girl when I was a kid (because I was just a little bit obsessed with Kirsten). It has fake holly leaves and electric candles so we can safely process around the house with little people leading the way. John's head is finally big enough for it!

This year I'm trying to teach them the Santa Lucia song since Therese loves songs so much. If that doesn't work, I'll just play this while we have a little procession around the house with the wreath and saffron buns:

What does St. Lucia Day look like in your home?

St. Nicholas Day - Our Family's Mini-Christmas!

Note: Contains some affiliate links.

Hope you are all enjoying St. Nicholas Day today! 

We have ramped up what St. Nicholas means in our house. We normally travel to Texas for Christmas, but my husband and I were talking about how we also miss a bit of that small family Christmas too. Our solution to get the best of both - celebrate St. Nicholas as a mini-Christmas!

Here's what that means.

Stockings Filled By St. Nick!

I grew up leaving stockings out for St. Nick, not shoes, so that's what we do. St. Nicholas comes during the night and leaves little goodies. 

I tend to do a chocolate something and something to play with. This year that was a chocolate orange (the kind you smash and it cracks it into slices), rice crispy treats, Skip bo game for John and a painting book for Therese. A sweet old lady at church gave me some Nativity stickers for them so they got those in their stockings too!

The adults got gifts too!

 

We know each other so well. Guess whos who...

Cinnamon Rolls

I make Overnight Cinnamon Rolls the afternoon before so they are ready to pop into the oven in the morning while we're doing stockings.

I love this bread machine overnight cinnamon roll recipe.

John saw me rolling out the dough, "Whoa Momma. My goodness, it's so long!"

The kids get to help with the sprinkling of the filling part, then it's into the fridge until morning!

Pro tip, use a cutting board to make your dishes stackable!

Crafts/Activities

I love these free St. Nicholas bookmarks from Paper Dali. We will be coloring those. I like to "laminate" them with clear packing tape to make them more sturdy.

We will also be watching the CCC St. Nicholas, the Boy Who Became Santa Claus movie this afternoon.

Gift Exchange

This started as just a practical I-don't-want-to-haul-gifts-to-Texas thing, but I actually just really like spreading out the gift giving. These gifts are not from Santa - we're very clear that these are the families gifts to each other.

Typically we do that after dinner on St. Nicholas Day. This year we might also be decorating our tree! It's just a little tabletop artificial tree, but we haven't had a Christmas tree in a number of years so it's exciting!

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Side note: one of my favorite fun stories about St. Nicholas has to with what went down at the Council of Nicaea.
The gist of it is Arius, of the Arian heresy, gave a prolonged argument promoting Arianism at the Council. St. Nicholas, Bishop of Myra, was so incensed at what he was hearing he walked across the room and slapped/punched (stories seem to vary as to what exactly he did there) Arius in the face.

Such a good story. "Remember that one time Santa Claus punched Arius in the face? Good times...."

How are you celebrating today? Any fun traditions for St. Nicholas that you grew up with?