It's been a hell of week - and I do mean that literally. I have never been so disappointed and discouraged in my fellow Catholics.
I thought so highly of them. I thought that when rubber hit the road they would show up, listen to truth, ignore their personal bogeymen and do what was right. Instead I have never before seen such a show of clericalism, cults of personality, intellectual dishonesty, and a love of comfort over truth.
I appreciate that as a survivor of abuse (albeit not clerical abuse) I have less tolerance for the hand wringing and "woe is me and mine" attitude when there is true evil lurking in our midst. But it's time to shape it up, fellow Catholics! Here are some of the responses I've been seeing that are thoroughly unhelpful, at best.
"But not all men!"
No duh, not all men behave problematically. But can we say that there are sociological differences in how men are responding to this crisis, as a group, and how women are responding? Absolutely.
Having that conversation shut down because "my husband would never act like that" doesn't help anyone. It shuts down the very real issue that women are having a hell of a time being taken seriously as voices here.
"I'm waiting for more information."
Omnipotence isn't happening for you. The reality is we do have some information, and I will not be a shrinking violet. In the refusal of Rome to clarify the issue, we must use what we have to the best of our ability and demand that our leaders do what is required of them.
If our leaders refuse to lead - it's a problem. Final, unassailable, proof or not.
"As a faithful Catholic, I will side with the Pope."
No. No it is not more Catholic to love a man more than Jesus. That is clericalism at it's raging finest. The essence of following mammon instead of God.
"Let's not jump to conclusions."
This wouldn't be a bad one if it wasn't hurled at anyone seeking to move the issue forward. It's not jumping to conclusions to say that Pope Francis is letting down the larger Church, and inciting even more scandal, by remaining silent. It's stating a fact.
"The real problem is a lack of women priests!"
Yes, let's blame the women some more everybody! Let's pile on and make sure our pet project is the thing that gets forwarded here. Not truth. Not love. Pet. Project.
"It's only the *Catholic* Church that has an abuse problem."
It's hubris to think that abuse could never happen in OUR tradition, in OUR town, in OUR family. But it can and it does. Oh how the mighty will fall.
"They always had it out for Pope Francis anyway."
Probably. I'm not going to pretend that anyone is squeaky clean of ulterior agendas. Does it mean they're wrong to be speaking now? No. No it doesn't.
Just because someone is dirty doesn't mean they don't know about more dirt. In fact it makes it more likely. Don't ignore the message because you have a personal tiff with the messenger.
More on the topic:
Linking up with This Ain't the Lyceum for 7 Quick Takes.
What responses should be added to this list? How have you responded?
Yikes. There's righteous anger and then there's forgetting to be Catholic on your Catholic blog. I feel like I am watching you become a very sour person, even before this crisis -- a person who belittles and lashes out at others to protect her own feelings. I've seen it in your social media comments too. That rot needs scooping out as much as the rot you're looking at in our Church.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know you won't take my comment seriously and villainize me in your head, like you did Danielle, because you've become ruthlessly self-justifying as well. But I'm telling you that something is wrong, and you might need a more private outlet that forces SELF-reflection over emoting, because and I'm not sure your intuition is trustworthy enough right now to be spouting off on a blog so often.
I see how brave you are to say that anonymously. This is truth. This is what I’m dealing with and I’m willing to be honest. I ask others to do the same and that means identifying what is unhelpful.
DeleteAlso, what Danielle are you talking about? I have villanized no one in my head, but perhaps you have me.
Delete"I'm waiting for more information" is one of those things people say that often (not always!!!) can be a smoke screen for apathy or actually defending fully the problem while
ReplyDeleteknowing in the heart it's wrong. Now, we do have a snap judgement-fast-fading-rage news cycle, but a week plus out, with the info we have,on a big story like this that is widely reported, a judgement should be made ("probably innocent" or "probably guilty"). The accusations are so large either names need to be cleared once and for all, or the guilty should be meted justice. But "waiting for more info" forever is not appropriate. Totally with you.